06_14_2019
Articulating Your Nourishing Matrix
In listening to some inspiring thoughts in preparation for my daily meditation recently, I wrote down a sentence that really caught my attention. Create a matrix that offers you the option to make healthy choices every day.
The word “matrix” is what caught my attention as I generally associate that word with a mathematical context. In math, the word refers to “a rectangular array of numbers, symbols, or expressions, arranged in rows and columns.”
I knew there must be another meaning for the word as the math association didn’t fit the context of the sentence. Here’s what I found when I looked up the word. “A ‘matrix’ is an environment or material around which something develops.” This definition definitely made sense, and as I thought more about it, I was prompted to start thinking about what I would claim as essential elements of my matrix? In other words, what ingredients help me grow and develop and as a result are necessary in my environment?
I think of the elements in my environment as somewhat parallel to a woven fabric. The warp represents the essential ingredients to create the framework for other key elements to be integrated into the whole. For me three of the “warp” ingredients in my environment include time, self-compassion, and monitoring.
Taking care of oneself and providing the fuel for development requires time that is set aside for these types of nourishing activities that allow one to develop and grow. If I want to engage in activities like eating well and exercising regularly, I need the time to do so. If I haven’t set aside time to cook something healthy for dinner, I find that I can end up eating things that are not so healthy.
Self-compassion is another essential element in my “warp.” Living the life we aspire to involves creating and following a path that allows us to be more aligned with our “true self.” This journey requires ongoing attention, setting intentions, and acting in ways that are consistent with our values and our intentions. Such aspirations can sound so simple, but anyone on this odyssey can speak to how easy it is to get distracted and misdirected by the many interactions and reactions that we experience within a given day.
Here’s where self-compassion becomes so critical. It doesn’t do us much good if in our desire to live up to our good intentions we simultaneously berate ourselves when we fall short of realizing our intentions. The likely reality is that we’re often going to fall short of our good intentions. This summer I’m trying to walk at least 20 minutes each day, but several days into this commitment, I talked myself out of walking because it was very humid and I just didn’t want to experience that discomfort while walking.
An active awareness about the importance of self-compassion makes it possible to grant myself permission to not walk on a given day without beating myself up. Practicing self-compassion on a regular basis takes a lifetime of continued practice. Each time I devote time to understanding more about the practice of self-compassion, I discover that are more of these elusive inner critics lurking in my psyche. These inner critics are acquired throughout our lifetime, but I think many of them are acquired in our childhood and adolescent years, and are somewhat less visible to us. They have many negative impacts on our wellness, as they undermine our self-worth, our confidence, our ability to take risks and explore new learning.
Monitoring is another anchor for me. I rely on a range of strategies to help serve as my mileposts and markers to help keep me on the journey that I envision for myself. When I’m in the process of forming a new habit or practice, I may record my progress on a more frequent basis. As an example, when I first acquired my Fitbit watch, I recorded the number of steps I travelled each day so that I was aware of my progress toward 50,000 steps a week. As I share examples of my woof activities, I’ll share more about how I monitor my achievements in those areas.
With my warp anchors of time, self-compassion, and monitoring in place, here are some of the consistent woof colors and threads that I use to create a reflection of my intentions to lead a healthy, productive, and joyful life. Self-care, learning, engagement and reflection are definitely colors that show up in my woven tapestry.
Self-care is vital in order for us to benefit from the maximum health that our bodies can achieve. Not surprisingly, eating well, exercising, reducing stress, and getting enough rest are all areas that require priority status in getting my attention daily. My meditation practice along with information available through my Fitbit watch provides me with an easy way to track how I’m doing in these areas.
Learning is critical to providing us with the tools and insights necessary for our continued growth and development. We all learn in different ways, so we need to understand how to seek out experiences that help us learn. Reading is high on my list as a way to take in all kinds of new information. Spending time with thoughtful friends also adds to my own learning in a host of interesting ways. Utilizing existing resources – like book groups, retreat centers – offers some super charged ways to access the expertise and contributions of others. Ongoing learning is essential to helping us continue to evolve. Keeping a list of books I’ve read and my daily calendar provide concrete feedback in these areas.
Engagement is another hue that adds great richness to our life tapestries. Engagement is simply about allowing ourselves to share our inner selves with others either through relationships, through our work or service, or through other ways like art or writing in which we share some of our inner lives. I’m someone who is definitely comfortable with solitude, but engaging with others is definitely critical for my happiness and evolution. I also thrive by having opportunities to “engage” with or bring my thoughts and ideas to life. Both my professional and my volunteer work have been mainstays in my life and I relish opportunities to translate ideas into practice. I can easily check on my progress in these areas as the work yields tangible results and my calendar provides insight into the frequency of my social engagements.
Finally, on-going time for reflection is so vital to our growth and development. Meditating has been such a gift in my life, and it’s free and accessible anywhere. Just having a few moments or more a day to quiet the mind and clear the way for new insights and ideas to take shape is such a great gift to give to oneself. Becoming more self-aware is one of the deepest spiritual practices! I date and typically journal some of my thoughts and insights that arise from my meditations.
For now, these are the elements that I am aware of constituting my Matrix. By naming them, I am able to be more consciously aware of attending to them in my daily life.
