12_26_2021

Resting, Nesting, and Reflecting

                I hope those of you reading today’s Blog are recalling warm and comforting moments from this year’s Christmas celebrations. Christmas presents us with a joyful time of year, but to tap into that joy requires skilled planning as well as self-knowledge. It has taken me years to “tweak” the remaining junctures that can make an enormous difference in how I experience the Season.

                One of the first attitudinal adjustments I made was to start thinking of Christmas as a Season. The biggest gift I gained from this minor adaptation is that I felt much less pressure on trying to make December 25 into a perfect day in order to feel like I had a Merry Christmas. With this outlook, the Christmas spirit begins to awaken within me as Thanksgiving approaches.

                With each passing year, I have added in diverse ways to help myself and others celebrate the Season. I know which traditions I have developed that I enjoy, and those tend to show up every year. It took me longer that I think necessary to realize that time and energy are required to create the Season that I wish to experience. Gradually I learned that in order to avoid finding myself in a space where I was so busy preparing to enjoy the Season than I had no time to actually enjoy it.

                I do like trying to find a “fitting” gift for each person that I want to acknowledge with a remembrance. I’ve let go of the notion of finding the “perfect” gift for others as that is an impossible reach. A “fitting” gift for me is something that reflects that I have been listening to them and paying attention to the ideas, challenges, feelings, and aspirations that each one has  shared with me throughout the year. One of my dear friends recently moved to a colder climate, and when we Zoom, I’ve noticed in the  colder months she is always wrapped in a shawl for more warmth. I was excited to settle on the idea that a blanket or throw might be especially appreciated, which it seemed to be.

                Another close friend who has recently retired and now has more time on her hands to pursue her own interests has continued to explore and expand her birding explorations. I’ve taken a chance that she doesn’t own a current birding guide so purchased her one, but to play it safe, I obtained a gift receipt along with the purchase so she can exchange it for something else if she wishes.

                I’ve always sent Christmas cards, but previously it was one of the last tasks I tackled. Last year I decided to learn how to do a mail merge and spent time loading names and addresses in an Excel spreadsheet. After several attempts at completing the mail merge function, I had a completed list of names and addresses saved as a Word document. This year I had to make a couple of corrections and added in a few more names, but having the labels already prepared made the task so much easier. One of the time-consuming aspects of sending cards in the past was chasing down the addresses.

Once my tree is up and lit, I take one evening or afternoon to add notes to the cards and  then mail them the next day. I typically purchase and decorate my Christmas tree by December 8. I’ve learned that I am more of “before Christmas” person than an “after Christmas” celebrant. As we get nearer to New Year’s Day, I can feel the urge to return my home to its regular settings. By listening to that desire, it serves as my silver lining to help me through the process of knowing that I will miss the comfort and joy that the lights on my Christmas Tree bring me in these days where we enjoy less light.

Even though I can definitely see that I have become better at managing what I can accomplish in this Season while reserving space to genuinely enjoy it, I also know that come December 26, I recognize a fleeting thought reassuring me that “I made it through to the other side.”  This feeling pays me a visit each year as a leftover of the years in which I’ve stretched myself too far. But I think the root of its visit has more to do with the emotional aspects that make their presence known during this time of year.

Christmas is a wonderful time of year in so many ways, but as we become more aware and more honest about how we approach the Season as well as the places where we’re most vulnerable, it takes an elevated level of preparation to keep the work in check and to anticipate and care for ourselves emotionally during this time.

I am certain there are more insights and lessons to be learned, but let’s pat ourselves on the back if we’re making progress. All of this  introductory summary brings me to the title of this Blog: Resting, Nesting, and Reflecting. Even before I deepened my understanding of managing the complexities of this Season, I viewed the time after Christmas to the coming of Spring as my nesting period. I have found ways to enjoy all of the Seasons and being a homeowner with the opportunity to care for my yard and to develop into an avid gardener, there is much additional work to be done outside in the months from April through November.

So, the shorter days and colder months give me a time to settle into enjoying the comforts of a warm and cozy home. This quieter time and colder days serve as an invitation to make wonderfully tasty and healthy soups. Slow cookers are wonderful tools, as I can prepare the ingredients first thing in the morning and smell the soup cooking all day. Soups taste better each day as the ingredients have a longer period of time to blend together. And there always seems to be enough leftover to provide meals for the next several days.

The slower-paced days become more internally focused, allowing us to slow down and enjoy living with more time for solitude and reflection. Slowing down  enables me to rest deeply and frees my mind to spend time in gentle reflection. Without really working at it, I find myself thinking about what I have accomplished this year that most excites me. I like finding an approach that serves as a springboard for where I’m going next versus creating a report card on how well I used my time.

I am already thinking about what I want my priorities to be in the year 2022. I don’t make lists anymore; instead, I take note of the areas that I definitely want to pursue in the next three months. I find focusing on 3-month intervals works well for me. That time span overlaps with the Seasons, so it naturally accommodates indoor and outdoor activities.

Our time on this planet is limited, so I find myself prioritizing the ways in which I want to spend my time. I don’t expect that every minute or hour will be spent as wisely as possible, but I’m finding that if at least part of each day is spent in activities that that are important to me, I feel like I’m doing well. Let me close with an encouraging quote by Henry David Thoreau which has been modified to reflect the female gender:

“I learned this, at least, by my experiment: that if one advances confidently in the direction of

[her] dreams, and endeavors to live the life which [she] imagined, [she] will meet with success

unexpected in common hours.”