02_13_2022

Winters and the Tenacity of the Human Spirit

I am struck by how I am seeing in people whom I’ve experienced as having a strong inner life show signs of being beaten down or back. I don’t know if the potential cause can be attributed to one source — like Covid,  the hateful and divisive words and actions exhibited in our country, or a combination of both. I recognize that there could be personal challenges contributing to one’s failing reserves. That said, what I’m witnessing is too extensive to be attributed to unique personal challenges.

I’ve lived long enough to experience and witness that all of us struggle with bouts of anxiety. Anxieties stem from fear that we may be about to experience harm, that we’re not good enough to be loved or employed, that we’re about to lose someone or something that falls in our happiness basket.

Anxieties come in different dosage levels. It’s one thing to be worried about whether your flight will be cancelled because of an unexpected snowfall. A deeper and more difficult anxiety to counter involves all of the recent acts we’ve witnessed in our country and the world that are deliberate and serious threats to democracy.

Currently we are all living with underlying and pervasive anxieties that have been given a free reign as our stockpiles of activities and connections have been raided by the restrictions recommended to lower our risk of contracting the virus. If regular gatherings with friends and family have been a sustaining source of nourishment and anchoring in your life, it makes sense that you are likely to feel off balance when those anchors are removed from your daily life.

Those of us who are fully vaccinated and boosted worry about how we will manage if we do contract Covid. Even though there are reassurances that being inoculated is associated with less harmful effects, this reassurance doesn’t address all of our concerns. Who will take care of us if we live alone and are not sick enough to go to the hospital? Or what if we do require hospitalization and there are no beds or not enough staff to take care of us? What if your knee replacement surgery is postponed until such time when more beds open up in hospitals, but in the meantime you’re in great pain when you put any weight on your knee?

All of these examples merit legitimate cause for concern. But just focusing on the “what ifs” without reminding oneself of the range of resources you bring to persevere in challenging times leaves you with a deficit balance in your strength account.

Last week’s The Marginalia included a lead article featuring a sample of Rainer Maria Rilke’s words of encouragement to a young woman (Lisa Heise) who reached out to Rilke when her husband abandoned her and their two-year old son. Here’s a link to this resource if you aren’t familiar with it:

https://www.google.com/search?client=firefox-b-1-d&q=The+Marginalia+by+Maria+Poplava

I think Rilke’s words in this letter grabbed my attention as a way of reminding me that we have resources in our lives to combat fears like anxiety that we allow to go unnoticed. Rilke chose to remind us that living through Winters, even when you may enjoy aspects of them, “teaches us about life’s riches.”  Here are quotes of Rilke’s messages of encouragement:

• “Tending my inner garden went splendidly this winter. Suddenly to be healed again and aware that the very ground of my being — my mind and spirit — was given time and space in which to go on growing; and there came from my heart a radiance I had not felt so strongly for a long time.”
• “You might notice that in some ways the effects of our winter experiences are similar. You write of a constant sense of fullness, an almost overabundance of inner being, which from the outset counterbalances and compensates all deprivations and losses that might possibly come.”
• “And what does living come down to but bringing about those changes in ourselves which we have daringly attempted, and which can free us to enjoy a richness and closeness with everyone?”

Here in New England, we’re on the far side of Winter, and hopefully turning the calendar page to March will bless us with the coming joy of Spring. Rilke’s words gave me pause to reflect on what resources I brought to the forefront to help me both “weather” a New England winter as well as living within restrictions in place to minimize my risk of contracting Covid.

I believe that Rilke’s message to Ms. Heise stressed the importance of realizing all of the times in one’s life when we found the inner  and outer resources we needed to help us make our way through challenges in our lives.

In my next class of Composing Your Own Narrative our assignment is to name the resources that have helped us move through the last two years that limited our access to resources we’ve counted on in the past. So why do I think this exercise matters? My answer is simple:  We are all much stronger and resourceful than we realize. By paying attention to what helps us stay ahead of our anxiety and learn to appreciate the benefits offered through any life experience, we can lower the volume of our fears and embrace our circumstances with room for joy.

In closing, I offer the words of Ralph Waldo Emerson:

“The hard soil and four months of snow make the inhabitants of the northern temperate zone wiser and abler than his fellow who enjoys the fixed smile of the tropics.

No matter where we live, we all share some kind of weather challenges, whether it’s the threat of fires, tornadoes, or hurricanes to name a few.

It’s currently snowing here outside of Boston, which means once again I have to don layers of clothing like when I was in grade school as I go outside mid-afternoon to clear another 4-6 inches of snow. I’ll be relishing this gift that reminds me I am capable of doing more than I think. Had you asked me in March 2020 how I thought I would make out if I had to live within restrictive conditions for two plus years, I’m not sure I could have seen my way that far in advance.

But over the last two years, I have found ways to not only survive, but also to use this more serene and quiet space to write, to design and teach classes helpful to us as we age, along with devouring wonderful books. Zoom has made it possible for me to make online connections capable of deep conversations, a true gift and discovery during these past two years. I’ve also learned to give myself permission to relax more and to enjoy the gift of rest.

We are stronger and more resilient that we appreciate; let’s not let others strip us of this affirmation.

Namaste.