O1_08_2023

New Beginnings

At this time each year, I usually find myself in a space where I pause to consider if I’m spending my time in ways that reflect my current urgings and interests. This year I find myself repeating the urge to reflect, but I am approaching it a bit differently than I have in the past.

I do feel interests bubbling to the top, but this year I’m not rushing to shape them into actions. So, what’s different about this year?

My holding back In claiming a direction is due in part to reading some interesting articles on thresholds – a concept that coincides with New Year’s resolutions. As I’ve aged, I have at least moved away from making specific resolutions as I find that most of them don’t last. Instead, in recent years I’ve framed my threshold experiences as intentions.

Setting intentions feels more grounded and deliberative. Intentions at least remind me of why I want to give emphasis to certain pursuits in my life. If we are able to follow through on our intentions, then they gradually take us to a new space.

I like to associate these transitions as opening the door to new thresholds, places where we take steps that will alter our lives in ways. Becoming a vegetarian was a desire I was aware of, but it wasn’t until I read Frances Moore Lappe’s book, Diet for a Small Planet, before I actually made the commitment to eliminate meat in my diet. Reading Lappe’s rationale for excluding meat from our diet served as the catalyst for me to finally respond to the thoughts that were trying to reach the surface.

There are certain thresholds that we cross that are more obvious to others who get to know us. This was definitely an example of a noticeable change in my life. At the time I made this decision, there wasn’t a noticeable base of support for more conscious eating.

The above example fits in with the messages I’ve been pondering about expanded ways to think about thresholds or setting new intentions. The following paragraphs are from Soul Matters, a resource available to those who want to deepen their understanding about living a purposeful life. You can check them out at https://www.soulmatterssharingcircle.com/  You do have to join to access their materials, but I am free to share what I’ve learned with you.

When encountering thresholds, we often talk as if our work is that of successfully “passing through” them. We speak of “making healthy transitions.” We seek out advice and support as we decide which thresholds to lean into and which to resist. The goal, it would seem, is figuring out how to travel forward in the right way.

But what if the true invitation of a threshold is not to successfully move from here to there, but instead to just sit and pause? What if we saw thresholds as resting places rather than as those moving walkways that transport us through airports? What if thresholds help us “become” by asking us to just “be” for a while? No moving. Just noticing and naming. Less traveling and more listening.

Our Jewish siblings live with a heightened sense of threshold every day. Their practice of hanging mezuzahs at their doorways calls them to pause and be more intentional about what they want to bring with them and what they choose to leave behind as they cross between their home and the world.

Imagine how your days might be different if you took a sacred pause at the doorway to your home as you leave or as you enter. Ask yourself, “What do I want to bring with me and what do I want to leave behind (or keep out) as I cross over?” In what ways do I, my home, family and loved ones need protected from the energy I picked up from the world today? How might my day be better if I bring treasured value of mine with me to the larger community today?

I am finding it helpful to not feel like I have to force my bubbling interests and urges into a final form at this point. Instead, I’m taking time to pause and to sit with the ideas that are circling me and trying to get my attention.

One of the biggest difficulties in making resolutions or changing our behaviors is the realization that such actions require that we change how we spend our time. We are a culture that is overscheduled, so deciding to make changes that require an investment of time typically means that we have to eliminate something else.

What am I learning from my new understanding about how to approach responding to other ways of living? First, I’m learning that it is okay and perhaps even wise to sit with the idea of making changes in my life. There are multiple possibilities to consider in pursuing changes. Taking the time to ponder how to go about working to those changes allows me the time to experiment and find ways that aren’t unnecessarily disruptive to the rest of my life.

By going more slowly than jumping off the cliff, I can assess the depth of my resolve to make changes in my life. For me, the best motivator for change is an awareness that the change will enhance the quality of my life.

I have made life-changing decisions in my life, and as I look back, the more time I spent preparing for these changes, the more successful I was in achieving them.

 “A [threshold is] a space to imagine a new way, and new self. Not moving or pushing but sitting and cultivating… [the goal] is to allow you space and time to reflect on your past, present, and future. To imagine a new beginning…”

Rev. Sara LaWall