06_29_2018

Take Another Look: Willingness to Re-Assess Prior Decisions

                I don’t know if you share a similar life experience with one of mine which has at times gotten in my way.  I tend to be what some in the marketing trade would refer to as “brand loyal.”  That is, once I make a decision about something, and build up a history of staying with that decision, I let the “years” of doing it that way keep me from looking at potentially better options as they present themselves.

Spoiler alert about the ending —I am able to eventually rethink my original decision, but sometimes it feels like it takes much longer than it should for me to rethink that decision.  Here are a couple of examples.  For years out of inertia I kept my bank account in one of the large chains of national banks.  Throughout this time period, I was frequently annoyed with the bank’s practices and what I deemed as poor customer services.  The bank kept assigning new fees and raising fees for normal transactions, like writing checks, using the ATM machine for withdrawals, etc.  Finally, after several years of continued frustration with this enterprise that seemed to convey by the way it treated me as one of its customers that “I didn’t matter” to them, I just decided I had had enough.  I visited the local community bank in the town that I live in, and the contrast in customer service was startling.  It took some effort and time to move my accounts to a new bank, but in the end it was well worth it.  I’ve been with the new bank for more than ten years and I’m so very happy that I made the switch.

I have had a similar experience with the health club that I have been a member in for more than 25 years.  The staff at the club are pleasant enough most of the time, and some of the staff on duty will help with the resistance machines if there is a problem, but the account services and their corollaries leave a lot to be desired.  Ever since I’ve been a member, the club has had difficulties managing their billing systems for both membership and locker rentals.  Several times I and others who rent lockers have been the victims of their poor decision-making.  Having a locker at the gym saves one from having to pack a bag with equipment for swimming or other activities one might choose to participate in.  In one instance, I found a voice mail on my answering machine indicating that the next day the club was removing the old lockers the next day so I needed to come and empty my locker.  I went first thing the next morning only to find that the lockers had been emptied the night before.  Everything in the lockers was dumped into huge garbage bags with no effort to keep stuff in Locker # “x” In an appropriately marked bag for the owner to claim.  The same type of thing happened another time, and when I complained that I had lost hundreds of dollars of equipment, all I got in response was a shrug and a weak response indicating that I had been left a voice mail.

Finally, the last straw occurred recently when I realized that I was being double billed for my membership.  When I complained to the manager, he admitted it was a mistake and said my credit card would be credited with the appropriate amount.  Three months later, I still haven’t received reimbursement after making repeated phone calls.  I have filed a complaint through appropriate channels, and finally accepted that it was time to move on from this club.

I’m not sure why I hang on in these types of situations.  Sometimes I can pinpoint specific influencing factors, like convenience or other amenities – the health club has a swimming pool and a heated whirlpool which I really enjoy.  For some reason, I also find it comforting or reassuring to say to myself things like “I’ve been a member there or I’ve been going there for many years.”  Why saying that has staying power is somewhat beyond me.

So, after doing some searching for a new health club, I finally selected one after visiting it and meeting with the staff there.  The club is not as large as the one I had been a member of, but I believe it has what I need.  This particular referral came from a woman in one of my yoga classes.  AND, here’s another decision I decided to re-think.  When I first joined a health club, I don’t think there was such a thing as a personal trainer; instead there were staff available if I had questions about how to use a particular machine.  Gradually, the visibility and use of personal trainers was on the rise, so much so that now I don’t see just regular staff on duty.  Instead, I see personal trainers working with their individual clients at a fairly substantial hourly rate.

So as I watched this for years at the gym, I wrote my own narrative that went something like this. “I don’t need someone to stand beside me and coaxed me to do my three sets of ten reps each.  I am able to supply my own motivation.”  In other words, I decided without giving my narrative much thought that using a personal trainer as inspirational coach was a waste of money and an excessive indulgence. Talk about being judgmental!

In joining this new gym, I knew I would need assistance in putting together a good routine for my goals, and I would need help in learning how to use machines that are different than the ones I’ve used in the past.  So I asked my colleague from the yoga class if she could recommend someone, she suggested someone at the gym who is a master trainer and who has a master’s degree in physical therapy.

From my leadership roles in higher education at institutions that offered physical therapy (PT) programs, I know the value of having the PT perspective.   So, I made contact with this particular trainer and have booked him for multiple sessions which I’ve spread out over time.  Once I master a routine that he helps create to match my goals, I’ll hook up with him again to share how it is working after I’ve had time to follow it for a while.

I am excited to have the input of someone who understands the intricacies of how the body works and can help me build the strength and muscle tone I’m looking for.  The person I’m working with is middle-aged, so he probably has a better understanding of the body and its needs than someone much younger.  I’ll let you know how that goes.

So circling back to the theme of this Blog, I definitely think that there are times in our lives that prompt us to revisit decisions that we’ve made earlier in our lives as well as beliefs that we’ve held onto without reflecting on how well those practices and beliefs are serving us in our current lives. So while I don’t have a 1-2-3 step process for you to follow in your life, I can share my experience in the hopes that it might serve you as well.

First, just be alert to how appropriate and wise it is to step back and take a second or third look at decisions that you are making.  As we age, our life needs and goals are different from when we were younger.  All kinds of factors can alter our line of thinking; perhaps now you have a little more discretionary funds than when you were younger, allowing you to spend money in ways that you believe will enrich your life.  I’ve heard more than once the adage or advice that as one ages and reaches a point where one is trying to downsize rather than collect more things; it’s time to start thinking about purchasing “experiences” rather than things.

Second if you’re like me, you may have different goals than when you were younger.  Keep in mind that “goals” may be too limiting a concept in this discussion.  In my case, I’m thinking more along the lines of the desire for “balance” in my life, a “balance” that is synonymous with quality of life.  So, instead of “goals” that are framed by swimming lanes, I have more of a palette of colors that I want to include in my life narrative and landscape.  My approach is looser than having a fixed set of goals, but I am finding that it allows me to be more fluid and to live more in the moment.  I just have to be extra vigilant to not lose track of the colors in my palette, leading to my painting only in red or blue for example if you can stay with the metaphor.  As I am learning the primary colors that provide my life with a rich balance, it is easier to notice when one or more of the colors needs to be brought into the painting.

Third, try to be alert when the inner voices that we all have speak out and remind us that we have multiple options that we might not have considered in the past.  We each have to come to know ourselves and how we approach change and decisions in our lives.  In some instances I can make decisions pretty quickly; in other cases – I hang onto current practices much longer than necessary.

Finally, I find it wise to remind myself that now that I have entered my later years. I and all of us are travelling in somewhat unchartered waters.  Without being tied to a 40-hour work week or some other type of responsibility like raising children, we are free to choose how we want to fill our time.   The wisdom element in this phase is being open to “experimentation.”  Trying out a wide range of ways of spending one’s time is crucial to discovering what it is that you really want to do, and/or how you want to spend your time.  And more than likely, some activities and endeavors will find a solid place in your palette, and others will serve as accents or highlights and make occasional appearances.

Finally, I believe it is most important to take time to enjoy the newer parts of “you.” I’m trying to listen to all the many new things I’m learning from my new endeavors.  This process in and of itself seems to bring new energy and interests into my life.