02_22_2021

                I, too, gave thought to whether or not I would be able to find meaning in my life once I was no longer as fully engaged with my work in education.  My conviction about the importance of education in helping us evolve to our “best selves” stayed with me throughout my career.  I am still involved in education although my current work has evolved or changed to fit this chapter in my life.

                Once the Pandemic unfolded and it appeared that we would be spending much more time closer to home, I decided this was a good time to rework the manuscript that I had put aside once my educational consulting practice took off.  To write, I need blocks of time where I can both think and then get those thoughts on paper.  I don’t have any illusions that my work will be a game changer in higher education.  Instead, if my words find their way into the hands of those that are as dedicated to the work as I may find direction, encouragement, and strength from lessons that I can share from experience.

                I’m also enjoying facilitating classes focused on providing support and direction as we continue to evolve and grow as we age.  I designed these offerings based on the work of many, but one of my anchors is the work of Erik Erickson.  From the first time I became acquainted with his work on Stages of Psychological Development I was hooked.  I am drawn to his work for  several reasons.  First, I enjoy having an opportunity to have guidance that helps me appreciate what I am experiencing in life.  His descriptions are expansive and broad enough that they can accommodate the uniqueness of each person’s experience.

                I came in contact with Erickson’s work after having been exposed to Freud’s view of our development.  I found Freud’s views both discouraging and sexist.  Erikson’s model of human development offers us the opportunity to visit earlier stages in our lives in which we may not have completed the work that needs to occur at that stage so that one can more full progress to the next stage. 

                For example, one of the earliest stages in child development is finding your way through the tensions of Trust versus Mistrust.  If, for example, a young child experienced the death of a primary adult or sibling at a young age,  there may be a lingering feeling of mistrust that one will continue to experience the loss of those held dear to sudden death.  With help, time, and lived experience one can develop an understanding that loss is present in life, but there are also many constants that can help sustain us during a significant loss.

                Designing the classes and meeting with others weekly who are interested in exploring and sharing our experiences as we continue to age has been an enormous gift to me in my own life.  I have heard the phrase “I am getting much more out of it than I am putting into it.”  I hear myself saying and thinking this statement all of the time.

                As we age, one of the turning points in our lives is to begin to think about how and what we can give back to the next generations.  I am grateful that I have found ways to give back that continue to connect me to my interest in learning.  But I also can sense that I am looking for other ways of giving back that may not be as related to my work in education.

                Ah, this is where listening to our inner voices becomes such an important element.  There are many more poetic ways of getting this point across, but I like the words of Thich Nhat Hahn:

 “The way must be in you; the destination also must be in you and not in space or time.  If that kind of self-transformation is being realized in you, you will arrive. “

                My interpretation of this quote is that there is value in choosing how we might make the best you of our talents by linking our gifts with beliefs or experiences that reside deep within us.  But again, we have to enough awareness that we recognize these nudges when they appear.  I am reminded of the author Elizabeth Gilbert’s insight in her work, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear.  I love her insight that “ideas go searching for humans to host them, but they will only ring your doorbell so many times.  If you don’t notice or answer, they’ll go looking for some other human host.”

                As I was reading Jeff Madrick’s book, Invisible Americans: The Tragic Cost of Child Poverty, my doorbell rang  multiple times.  The first was a request from our local community council that was announcing a new program to help people in need of food.  Local restaurants have agreed to work with the council in this way.  The council offered different options for donors to purchase gift cards that would be given to families in need, allowing them to order in a meal once a month. 

                Madrick’s research and words were ringing my bells on several levels.  First I grew up in a family that was often short on money, so while I didn’t experience the levels of hunger described in his book, there were times when we didn’t have much to eat.  And, we never had enough money to go out to eat.  I am a firm believer that the smallest acts of kindness or blessings in one’s life can infuse one with a much larger infusion of hope.  I signed on to support this innovative idea.

                As I continued to read Madrick’s findings, I was reconnected with my work running a non-profit that worked with children and educators in an urban community.  A local university allowed us to use some of their facilities where we were able to run Summer Academies to help close the achievement gap, and equally important, held children living in hardship strengthen their resiliency. 

                I was reminded how I had witnessed in real life what Madrick described.  One of his more powerful statements made a connection with poverty and how children learn they are different.  They are ashamed when they don’t have enough food.  I was able to connect with the City Offices to obtain free lunches for the children in our care.  BUT, over half of the children wouldn’t eat them because they were embarrassed that their families didn’t have the financial means to feed them. They chose hunger over shame.

                These experiences are coming together for me in such a way that I feel like I have an opportunity to devote time and resources to help support families, especially those with children, in obtaining enough to eat.  When COVID is under better control, there is an opportunity to help stock our local food pantry.  I also have an idea which I will explore with the local volunteer coordinator to produce recipes that offer healthy, nutritional food while being mindful of costs and prep time.

                I am sharing this with you not because I want a pat on the back.  Rather I am sharing it as a way of acknowledging that there are many opportunities that we can seek out to contribute as a way of giving to the generations that are following us.

                We don’t need the spotlight, headlines, or a brass band.  What we need is to listen, to be awake to our interests and ways to link them with opportunities to serve.