April 10, 2019

Creating Our Own Healing Packages

I owe the concept of creating our “own healing packages” to author Mary Pipher.  She casually introduces the idea within the first fifty pages of her new book, Women Rowing North: Navigating Life’s Currents and Flourishing as We Age.  Here’s how she explains the concept.  “Think about what makes you feel healthy, calm and happy.  Our individual prescriptions for health include addressing nutrition, exercise, our relationships, things we enjoy, and gratitude.”

                One of the things I love about the concept of creating my own healing package is that the idea reinforces our individual responsibility for our own wellness and happiness.  Current research findings and greater emphasis on reporting on healthy practices are driving home the reality that we all have to assume more responsibility for our health.  In the past, I think there was a feeling or notion that you lived as you wish and it was doctors’ responsibilities to keep us well.  Think of previous generations where smoking cigarettes was the norm.

                I also appreciate Pipher’s emphasis and declaration that we are each responsible for our own happiness.  Such a statement is an enlightened view; no more blaming friends, partners, spouses, children for our own unhappiness.  Yes, it is inevitable that some people in our lives are at times going to do things that upset, disappoint us and/or hurt or make us angry.  But it is up to us how we choose to respond to those situations. 

                One other thought before exploring the rich processes that await us in creating our own healthy packages.  Pipher shares some of her own experience managing the onset of a physical disability with her hands.  She asks two very important questions of herself that I think will be familiar to most readers:  “How much of my time should I spend doing something that is good for me?  And how much of my time should I save to do things that are important to me?” 

                I think these are two great questions for each of us to ponder as we explore our options for creating a healing package.  I wrestle with these questions in some way most days.  I can get so caught up in my interests and in the work that I love that it is easy for me to put off doing more exercise each day as well as other practices that I know are good for me.  If I’m not paying attention, I can find myself at dinner time without the right ingredients on hand to prepare a healthy dinner.   When I realize I’m drifting into not-so-healthy patterns, the awareness nags at me to do something about gaining more balance.  The nagging has to get louder or it has to reframe its message in such a way to point out that some minor changes in my schedule could include activities that are keeping me in shape to pursue the work that I enjoy. 

                So when these forces come together as an “opportunity” rather than as a “must,” I do a reset.   My reset is my version of pondering what I want to add in my life as well as what I might want to subtract from my daily schedule in order to achieve a better balance in my life.  Here’s an insight that may be helpful: we should anticipate that we have to do frequent “resets” in our lives as well as revisit and most likely revise elements in our own healing packages in response to life’s rhythms.

                Here are some items that I typically include or consider in building my healing packages. First, I always consider how I’m doing on eating well.  Am I including enough fruit and vegetables?  Enough Protein?  Drinking enough water and other healthy fluids?  Am I getting enough rest?  What does my exercise routine consist of?  Am I attending to both aerobic as well as muscle building activities?  And, am I enjoying my selection of exercise activities?

                It may seem like an oxymoron to equate enjoyment and exercise in the same sentence, but the two concepts don’t have to be exclusionary.  I have loved having a yoga practice for many years, but finding the right yoga instructor is paramount in my enjoying a class.  There’s always been an element of how my “attitude” and “thinking” about exercise influences my ability to enjoy it, but I’m finding I have more work to do on attitude adjustment.  When I was younger and running long distances was in my tool bag, I learned that I had to get through the first mile or so before my body loosened up and I was able to just let my body do the work.  I have experienced what is described as a
“runner’s high,” which I experienced as an almost “out-of-the-body” experience as my physical systems took over and I could run for 8 or 10 miles without even feeling the impact on my body.

                I didn’t begin a yoga practice until I was middle age, and I’ve never had the same strength or flexibility that some of my classmates have been able to exhibit.  Fortunately, in yoga, there is a lot of attention that has to go into attending to have your various body parts in the right positions and while breathing appropriately, so there isn’t really too much time to be looking around at the class to compare one’s own performance with that of others.

                Thank goodness!  But the observation of desiring to compare with others is a great signal that there is work to do in learning to accept what my own body is able to do.  And, how much does a self-critical or negative voice have on one’s abilities, efforts, and enjoyment in participating in a healthy practice?  So one of the elements currently in my healthy package is to replace the comparative and discouraging companion voices with ones that are more celebratory and encouraging. I am trying to think of   things that I might say to friends that were starting a new exercise routine.  It’s not that hard: “Good for you for putting in the effort to feel better and take care of yourself.  Even if you can’t do everything you would like or as well as others, just think of how you are building a better, stronger body!  And with time you’ll see improvements.” 

                In addition to focusing on the physical and mental spaces associated with caring for my body, I also pay attention to my state of mind.  Do I feel at peace with myself and life for most of my waking hours?  Am I stewing over something unnecessarily?  Am I obsessing over someone’s behavior – whether it’s someone from my present life or my past life?  What’s amazing is that when I become aware that I am letting my mind join the “monkey train” chasing one thought after the other, I have learned that I can put a stop to that by focusing more on living in the present.

                Daily meditation is now a must in my healing packages as it gives me that quiet time to set my intention and more importantly, it is an easily available tool to take back the mind’s desire to operate on cruise control.  I can’t point out enough from my own learnings and experience that staying present and living in awareness takes ongoing attention.  I do think it gets easier as one develops the tools to assist in this endeavor, but as important, it also helps to actually realize that it is possible to help oneself get back on track.

                I also think about how I use my time as part of my healing package.  As I mentioned, I’m one of those people who thinks about doing what I feel is important as well as what is good for me.  Now that I have more flexibility in how I spend my time, I find that I am making more time for caring for and expressing my appreciation and gratitude for those that I care about in my life.  My last Blog focused on the process of “re-birth,” which creating our own healthy packages can also contribute to.  I may have mentioned that a recent attempt to eat differently has helped me lose some weight, so my healthy package also includes devoting time to having the food at hand and the energy to prepare the meals that are helping me maintain my weight loss.  Also in this case, the unhealthy foods and eating practices are things that I have excluded from my healthy package.

                When I’m starting on a new path or adventure, I find it helpful to create a “tool” of some kind to help me stay focused as well as to see my progress.  So I’ve created a simple worksheet, and on Saturday morning each week, I’m spending part of my meditation focusing on what goes into my “healing package” for the coming week.  It’s a simple effort, doesn’t cost any money to do, yet it gives me the focus and encouragement I need to take positive step in a healing direction!