11_28_2021

Enjoying the Coming Holidays

                December is a month packed with opportunities that lend themselves to celebrations. We have Hanukkah — although this year it begins in November, the Winter Solstice, and Christmas. Additionally, we have the Season of Advent, which lends itself to rituals and time for reflection.

                Sarah Ban Breathnach offers us a wonder description of December in her book, Simple Abundance: 365 days to a Balanced and Joyful Life:

“December’s gifts — custom, ceremony, celebration and consecration, come to us wrapped not in tissue and ribbons but in cherished memories. This is the month of miracles. The oil that burns for eight days, the royal son born in a stable, the inexplicable return of Light on the longest, darkest night of the year. Where there is Love, there are always miracles. And where there are miracles, there is great joy. Gratefully, we weave golden thread of the sixth Grace of Simple Abundance — Joy — into our tapestry of  contentment. At last, we embrace the miracle of authenticity, changing forever how we view ourselves. Our daily round. Our dreams. Our destinies. Days we once called common, we now call holy.” (p.535)

                I celebrate Christmas, and if it is possible to enjoy it more as I age, I feel confident in making such an assertion. As a child, I did believe in the existence of Santa Claus, but realize in retrospect that it wasn’t the possibility of gifts that captured my heart and imagination during this part of the calendar year.

                Instead, I could feel the uplifting energy brought on by the colorful lights that spoke of hope, joy, and a sense of good will that awakened my imagination and sense of wellbeing. I enjoy  the music that is part of this season, and I have no shame in admitting that I begin sampling my favorite tunes once Thanksgiving is over.

                The presence of the colorful lights which gradually appear throughout our neighborhoods help offset the decreasing daylight. How thoughtful were our ancestors in understanding the significance of more light in helping us through the increasing hours of darkness in the winter season?

                With all of the gifts available to us during this time, how do we pace ourselves so that we’re not overwhelmed? There are so many ways to acknowledge the season, not unlike walking through a buffet line and filling our plates with far more than we can eat without feeling stuffed. It is so easy to get caught up in the commercial hype of this time of year that we can easily lose our balance.

                Even more challenging are the expectations that we place on ourselves, particularly those related to our spirit of giving. I make a list of those in my life that I want to acknowledge with a thoughtful gift. I don’t aim for “the perfect gift” so much as I aim for a gift that says, “I have been paying attention to what matters to you in your life presently.”  In other words, it is my way of saying that I have been bearing witness to you and your life.

I have learned slowly that it isn’t how much I spend on a gift that matters. it is more about how finding a gift that reflects I have been paying attention to what is going on in the lives of those that I consider close to me. If a dear friend has been sharing with me how much she is enjoying a new hobby of birdwatching, I figure a good gift is a book that is helpful in identifying birds or in providing nature preserves in the area.

Prior to the social distancing that has been part of our lives for the last 20 months, I did a lot of entertaining in December. I hosted groups that are an important part of my life for dinners and other gatherings that included food and drink. I loved doing it on one level, but if I wasn’t mindful of my own energy level, I would find myself exhausted by Christmas.

Slowly I’m learning how to pay more attention to my own energy, and to invite others to bring a favorite dish so that I’m not doing all of the heavy lifting. I’m finding that most people are grateful that someone is willing to host an event. As the host,  I could probably get by without cooking anything as people would be happy enjoying a real Christmas tree decorated with care in a warm, welcoming home.

Part of moving toward living a balanced life that includes “custom, ceremony, celebration, and consecration” requires discernment on how much we extend ourselves in giving of ourselves, both  of our energy as well as our financial resources. I find it helpful to brainstorm ideas for gifts, and then give myself a few days to sit with my choices both in terms of the fit with the intended person as well as the appropriateness of the costs involved.

The most important aspect of a gift is that it conveys the message that “I want you to know that I value you and I am grateful that we are witness to one another’s lives.”

Finally, we have to push away and resist any notions that we’re not allowed to be joyful given all the chaos and inequalities that exist in our country and the world presently. We can be mindful and attentive to giving generously to help others. But if we rob ourselves of joy because we don’t feel we deserve it, we not only rob ourselves of life’s gifts, but we also rob others of this gift as well.

Joy begets joy, and this is a season where we are called forth to be hopeful.

I close with the following quote attributed to the writer and artist Harland Miller:

“The outdoor Christmas lights, green and red and gold and blue twinkling, remind me that most people are that way all year round — kind, generous, friendly and with an occasional moment of ecstasy. But Christmas is the only time they dare reveal themselves. ‘

May we all make an effort in this Season upon us to reveal the kind, generous, friendly, and joyful parts of ourselves with others!