Finding Balance in a World of Impermanence
03_06_2021
Finding Balance in a World of Impermanence
As we age, we are frequently reminded that we should engage in activities that help us maintain our balance. Such messages are referring to our ability to balance physically, and I understand the wisdom of the advice. In a yoga practice, there are a number of poses that challenge one’s ability to balance. The Tree Pose comes to mind, and, on some days I am able to achieve some semblance of a tree. I gravitate to yoga instructors who on these occasions remind the class that it doesn’t matter if your tree is wobbly. What a great message, reminding us to accept ourselves as we are on that day. I’ve come to think of myself as a willow tree that just simply bends with the wind; I’m not wobbly per se, just pliable!
What a great image to help us with mental and emotional balance as well. These parts of our being don’t get as much attention regarding their importance as our physical balance does. The medical profession can witness the results of physical imbalance, e.g., broken hips, cracked wrists, etc. But it is harder for them to see the pain and suffering we can and do incur when we struggle to find our balance in the flood of thoughts and emotions that we experience daily.
If you haven’t encountered the great spiritual teacher, Sharon Salzberg, I urge you to check her out. She has an active on-line presence, and her pricing is more accessible than many of the similar online programs. If you just visit her website, https://www.sharonsalzberg.com/ , you’ll be able to sign up for her newsletter and her current offerings. Frequently she offers free programming, as well as an option to donate what you can afford. For some of her longer programs, there is a larger fee.
But I recommend that you try her free or lower-priced programming to see if she resonates with you. One of the elements I enjoy most about her is that her teachings are quite accessible. She has a very practical side that resonates with my life experience. She offers multiple learning opportunities that allow us to explore our thoughts and feelings in a way that unpacks them, but always in the contest of self-compassion.
I’ve just finished a 28-meditation online series guided by her. Initially, within the first week she explains strategies that one can use to help focus during meditation sittings. She’s great about constantly reminding us that we should anticipate that our minds will wander during this time. She points out that the sweet spot in meditation occurs when we realize our mind has wondered and we have the ability to bring it back to focusing on our breath, on the sounds around us, or any other approach that works for you.
Time in meditation in which we learn to observe our minds wandering and use that insight to bring our focus back to the present is what builds the skills that allow us to bring this practice into our daily lives. She refers to the process as transferring our learnings from “the mat to being off the mat.”
In the final two weeks of this series, I found the daily lessons to be particularly beneficial. In Week Three she focused on how we can learn from observing our thoughts. As we become aware of thoughts passing through, can we observe them, and then mentally make note of how we might categorize them. Are we focusing on planning what we need to do next? Are we absorbed in replaying a recent exchange that has left us unsettled? Are we worried about something in the past or in the future?
This type of observance helps us recognize patterns that we have established that we may not even be aware of. And as we gain more experience, we can ask ourselves questions like, “What can I learn from this thought? What is it trying to teach me?”
In the last week of the class, she goes through the same process with our emotions. Of particular note, her message about feelings that was especially helpful to me is that while we might label a feeling with one word, it is more often a combination of many feelings. If we feel someone in our family or a close friend has slighted us in some way, we may register “anger” as the presenting emotion. But if we explore that feeling in more depth, it is often comprised of other feelings like, “sadness,” “fear,” “loneliness,” etc.
She encourages us to explore the “story” that we write about experiencing the emotion? For example, if we feel jealous, do we immediately castigate or label ourselves as bad human beings? Do we feel shame for such feelings? I felt comfort from her words that reminded us “we don’t have any control over when and which feelings pop up.
Instead, what we can control is how we respond to them!!!! A big difference. When I sit with such feelings and am able to see that there are multiple emotions involved, it enables me to disarm their hold on me. Here’s a recent example. A friend of mine sent me an email in the last couple of days indicating that she had received both of her COVID-19 Vaccinations by the middle of February. In reading her news, I felt like I had the wind knocked out of me. I started giving myself grief that I had not found a way to have finished the vaccination process. I am not sure how my friend got an appointment for the shots so quickly since she doesn’t fit the parameters outlined in each of the Phases that have been activated so far.
Once I realized there was a bit of mystery about her timing, I realized that I was glad for her that she was now protected. I reminded myself that I have been able to get an appointment, and in reality, I’m not that far behind her in getting my shots. And according to the maps indicating the percentage of people in the country that have been vaccinated, I learned that only about 12% of the population has been vaccinated so far.
I feel fortunate that I have opportunities to learn strategies for helping restore my equilibrium from the push-and-pull of thoughts and feelings that bombard me and others throughout my waking hours. It is worth putting in the time to meditate as what we learn in that time helps develop strategies that can easily translate to times when we’re off the mat.
Check her out if you don’t know of her work. I hope you find her insights and approaches as helpful as I have.
Namaste!