02_16_2018

Gladdening Our Hearts!

                 In one of the recent readings I was using to support my meditation for the day, I came across the expression – “Gladdening Your Heart!”  The expression piqued my interest immediately as I don’t remember ever seeing this combination of words together before, and I wasn’t quite sure what it meant but it definitely sounded interesting.

                The concepts of “heart” and “gladdening” are ones that I associate with joyfulness.   Thinking about these ideas in the context of Valentine’s Day approaching, I was moved to do a little investigation into the origins of Valentine’s Day.  Well, my search wasn’t quite as simple as I thought it might be.  Apparently, for a variety of reasons, the month of February has long been associated with romance.  Specifically, it appears to have some association with fertility which in earlier times was celebrated in something called the” Lupercalia Festival. ” As Christianity grew more dominant, the pagan Festival of Lupercalia was dedicated to the god of agriculture.  And if these roots aren’t confusing enough, throw in that somehow February 14 became known as the “beginning of the bird mating season.”

                I’m never quite sure or confident of how such levels of specificity associated with past events or the behaviors of others comes into being.  But whatever factors planted the seeds of “heart” in the month of February, by the middle of the 18^th century, people were writing and sending hand written notes to friends and lovers on February 14 which eventually became known as Valentine’s Day.  When I first started looking into the history of this celebration, I expected to find the date associated with a Saint Valentine who was known for exhibiting a loving heart.  But there are multiple individuals known as Valentine and the histories of individuals with this name don’t all match up with what I thought I would find.

                What struck me as I was engaged in this meditation were thoughts that ran along the lines of “Why do we only think of opening our hearts on one day each year,” and “Wouldn’t it be great if our hearts could experience an awareness of love every day.”  Feelings of being loved and loving awaken our hearts in many pleasurable ways, so I set off on this path to explore if practices that led to “gladdening my heart” could also lead to similar pleasurable feelings associated with loving. 

                As I explored ways that are available to me to “gladden my heart,” I found multiple sources that offered the following singular pathway: Learn to practice and incorporate gratitude into your life on a daily basis.  So how does one find one’s way to this pathway?  

                Let me share what seems to be working for me presently.  A dear friend had given me the gift of a notepad with a heading that said:  Today I am grateful for, with space to jot down 5 or 6 things that came to mind.  I did this exercise for several weeks, but here’s what I found.  I did better at staying with the practice when I did it at the same time each day.  I tried doing it in both the morning before my day started and at the end of the day.  Spending a few moments reflecting at the end of my day in identifying points of gratitude within the day gave me more to work with.  I think it also both widened and deepened the experiences that I could identify as “gladdening my heart” in some way.

                For example, just participating in this practice throughout my day seemed to raise my awareness of moments of appreciation across a wide spectrum of stimuli.  I became much more aware of my daily interactions with people I encountered in carrying out life’s routine chores; e.g., grocery shopping, going to the post office, interacting with people at the gym, etc.  Just witnessing others who extend themselves in some way to show that they care now brings an easy smile of recognition of the feeling of gratefulness to my face.

                After a few weeks, I found that trying to jot down what I’m grateful for each day started to feel mechanical.  I think it is hard to just call out these moments and experiences in the abstract; instead, I think a combination of practices where we do take time frequently to acknowledge what we are grateful for balanced by the equally important practice of being open to experiencing gratitude as we live our lives in the moments of the day.

                My sense is that making the practice of gratitude part of our lives is similar to acquiring other behaviors or habits: the more we practice the skill or intention, the more naturally it becomes part of our routines.  Once I started being aware of feeling grateful throughout my waking hours, the more I began to notice multiple occasions within my day for which I felt grateful.

                Here are some of the outcomes that research is linking with the nearly endless benefits of practicing gratitude: People who regularly practice gratitude by taking time to notice and reflect upon the things they’re thankful for experience more positive emotions, feel more alive, sleep better, express more compassion and kindness, and even have stronger immune systems.

                By now anyone who follows my writing on a somewhat regular basis knows how much I value the practice of daily meditation.  A meditation practice helps us get in touch with our gratitude.  As we become more mindful, we’re able to “declutter” our minds more easily which allows us to pay more attention to issues that really matter.  Meditation also helps us “stop spinning in place,” and facilitates our slowing down so that our hearts are more able to open and appreciate all that we have.

                I am finding that working on “gladdening my heart” is bringing me to new levels of joy, happiness, and deeper connections.  If you were disappointed with your Valentine’s Day experience, find hope in the knowledge that you have the power within to awaken love within yourself. 

                Here are a couple of new things associated with Valentine’s Day that I learned this year.  This was the first I heard of “Galantine” Day which occurs on February 13 and celebrates women’s friendships.  What a great idea!  And here’s a statistic that I shouldn’t have been surprised to find: Women purchase 85% of all Valentine products!  Now that fact deserves more exploration and commentary….stay tuned!