04_11_2022

Insights to Support Successful Aging

Recently I have been mulling over lessons and insights I am gaining from sharing insights from Angeles Arrien’s book, The Second Half of Life: Opening the Eight Gates of Wisdom. A friend sent me a note about this book, inquiring if I was familiar with it. Since I’m currently authoring a book about the work that is available to us to complete as a way of discovering an integrated perspective about our lives, I decided to check out the book.

When I discovered that one of my favorite spiritualist authors, John O’Donohue, had written the Forward, I could feel my excitement and anticipation rising. If you haven’t discovered O’Donohue’s work yet, I encourage you to visit your local library and check out his writing. O’Donohue was an Irish poet, priest, and author; his writings draw on his Irish heritage through a focus on Celtic spirituality.

And, as my life pattern repeats itself, synchronicity showed up once again when I was on the threshold of a new discovery. One of my classes recently devoted a class session to Podcasts that we each regularly listen to for inspiration, relaxation, information, and new learning. The class consists only of women, and we’re all comfortable claiming the title of seniors. I’d like to think that we’re working towards thinking of ourselves as elders, as we are devoting our weekly time together to foster our growth and experiencing the peace and joy that comes with experiencing Erickson’s later stage of development, Generativity and Integration.

One of the Podcasts that caught my attention was one facilitated by Max Linsky. Linsky records interviews with seventy individuals who are over the age of seventy, leading to the title of the broadcast, “70 Over 70.”  In launching the series, Linsky interviews his father, Marty who has recently turned eighty. The son explores his father’s perspective on aging, and one of the father’s comments that caught my attention was a statement he made indicating “that no one has taught me how to do this phase of my life.”

As I am currently in my seventies, I’m experiencing the changes that take place in one’s life as one ages. I am anxious to learn what I can to help me navigate this phase of my life. The father/son conversations are well done, and easy to listen to. Hearing the father acknowledge that he felt like he didn’t have much guidance on how to navigate the aging process reinforced my interest in diving into Arrien’s wisdom.

One of the things that I have already experienced as helpful from her work is that we need to be prepared to adjust what we perceive as a viable reality as we age. For example, Max asked his father how he is likely to feel when he can no longer achieve his impressive number of steps each day. It sounds like his father is an avid daily walker, accumulating more than 20,000 steps a day, and he is eighty.

This example was immediately meaningful to me. I know what my automatic response would be to realizing that I was no longer able to meet a physical fitness goal that I had maintained in the past. Without guidance, I would default to thinking that I was “less than.” I’m not sure that I would default to thinking that I was a failure, but I do know that I wouldn’t be feeling good about what I accomplished.

I mentioned in an earlier Blog that I joined a new gym within the last five months. I have joined a local KoKo club, which uses a digitized approach to fitness training. On balance, there are more positive benefits to the unique approach to fitness, as well as aspects that could be improved. Each time you attend a strength-training session, there is a computer screen that instructs you through each exercise. There is also a pacing guide, a recommended number of reps for each activity, and at the end of each session you receive a summary of your performance.

The feedback format and approach are areas that merit rethinking. At the end of a thirty-minute session in which I know I have exerted myself, I don’t find it helpful to see a message that says something like, “Your pace is slipping a little, so work harder next time.”

I am pleased that my initial reaction to such a message was negative. Positive reinforcement is my best motivator; I don’t need superlative praise. A comment as simple as complimenting me on continuing to show up to work out would be enough to help me keep going.

I’ve been trying to use a key lesson in Arrien’s first chapter that reminds us we have to let go of what we considered our previous realities. With the arrival of more temperate weather, I’m making it a priority to walk more each day. A year ago, I was a regular achiever of accumulating the recommended 10,000 steps a day. Now that I’ve added in doing strength training three days a week, I’m having to experiment with how to incorporate expanded physical fitness endeavors with periods of rest so that I can sustain my energy each day.

I’m working on my attitude and expectations. If I only record 7500 steps in a day, I’m reminding myself to focus on that as a positive achievement.

I plan to get a second Blog out this week, and the first installment will explore what Arrien’s has to say about the first gate which she has labeled as The Silver Gate.

Stay tuned, and I hope you find these reflections helpful. I appreciate the practicality that is evident in the author’s approach to this topic.