02_25_2023

Moving Toward Living With Ease

Hello again! I’ve been away from blogging for several weeks as I’ve been concentrating on finishing my latest manuscript.  Yesterday I finished the last chapter, and while I’ll be spending the next couple of weeks on the final editing, that part of the process is less daunting and time consuming than initially getting my ideas on paper.

I have been sitting with this topic for the last couple of months as two ideas originating from different sources are speaking to me presently. I’ve shared in my most recent posts how helpful I have found Angeles Arrien’s book in gaining a deeper as well as practical understanding about the aging process. Her book, The Second Half of Life: Opening the Eight Gates of Wisdom, offers a wealth of insights. Try searching for it at your local library; this offers you a chance to read it for free, and you can always purchase it later if you find it as helpful as I have.

The focus of the second to last Gate, The Natural Gate, has stayed with me, inviting me to explore what I can learn from it. This Gate “encourages us to come to our natural rhythm and our internal sanctuary…The major task of this Gate is to come home to ourselves and discover where we are truly content, happy, and satisfied.

As I periodically revisited this message, searching for why it stood out from all of the other messages, my work in facilitating a Small Group Ministry introduced me to another interesting bit of wisdom.  Our theme for the month of February is Intention, and as I was preparing our session plans to guide our discussions, I found these remarks offered by Kate Covey who serves as a Director of Resources at Soul Matters. https://www.soulmatterssharingcircle.com/

Soul Matters is a resource for those working in ministry roles – both lay and ministerial; I’m lay by the way.  Here are her helpful words about setting our Intentions:

“Here’s what I discovered. Intention is different from setting goals or resolutions in that it pulls us into who we truly are. Goals and resolutions push us out into future possibilities. To set intentions, we must listen to our inner voice which tells us who we truly are…There is, after all, a big difference between becoming better and becoming ourselves. Self-improvement is not the same as self-alignment. Wanting to get from point A to point B is something quite different from longing to find your inner anchor… But living with intention seems to be more about creating a quiet space that allows us to connect with who we already are, a space that protects us from the pressure to accomplish and instead makes room to ask deeper questions of ourselves…And if we are able to carve out that quieter space, then maybe we will discover that this isn’t the year of “finally becoming a better me.” Maybe we’ll decide it’s enough to simply “finally be me.”

In case it isn’t obvious, I am a seeker, someone who is always looking to learn and grow, hence the name of my Blog: Still Evolving.  I see this as a plus, but I also recognize the importance of finding a throttle speed that makes it possible for me to find and honor my natural rhythm. This is a process change for me, as my inner critics that I believe originated in my childhood continue to hound me daily.

If I listen to their repeated loop, it contains messages of fear like the following:

• Am I doing enough?
• Am I using my time wisely?
• What did I accomplish today? Was it enough?
• Am I wasting time?
• Will I regret at some point that I didn’t accomplish more?
• You could definitely push yourself harder when working out!

I have learned that I am not alone travelling with these inner critics who get to ride comfortably in the backseat while I do all of the work. They are not the ones who have to find the energy to get the snowblower going when it is necessary to clear the driveway and walkways from our latest winter storm.

They don’t have to grocery shop, cook dinner, vacuum, and occasionally find the dust rag.  Nor are they subject to working through daily challenges that may not seem like much when compared to what others are expected to manage, but these events require energy, discernment, and searching for appropriate ways to respond.

I’ve been channeling Elizabeth Gilbert’s words from her book, Big Magic: Creative Living Beyond Fear.  I’m paraphrasing her thoughts here, but you can find her original words in the Chapter titled “The Road Trip.” 

“Dearest Fear: My natural rhythm and I are about to go on a road trip together in search of a way to help me feel that it is okay for me to settle into living with greater ease, allowing me to explore what is calling me to completion. I understand you will accompany us as you see it as your role to induce complete panic and healthy doses of guilt whenever I set out to do anything interesting. There’s plenty of room in this vehicle for all of us, so make yourself at home.  But understand this, Natural Rhythm and I are the only ones who will be riding in the front and making decisions along the way. You’re allowed to sit in the back seat, but you are not allowed to touch the road maps, to fiddle with the temperature, or to have a say in which radio stations we listen to. But above all, you are absolutely forbidden to drive.”

Gilbert’s gentle humor speaks to me. I find myself paraphrasing her words as I speak to my

Inner critics who see it as their job to keep me from becoming a bona fide couch potato.

Here’s what I’m finding as I loosen the reins from always pushing myself to do more. I haven’t become a couch potato from taking a short nap during the day if I feel the need to recharge my energy.  I’m learning that naps are also a way of helping me transition to a different work dimension.  My physical energy is strongest earlier in the day, so I use my mornings for activities that benefit from that energy.  After a resting period whether it be a nap, reading, or on some days watching a movie, I am able to pursue other interests that are calling me.

I like waking up each morning and listening for what is calling me today. I feel like I am taking steps to living with greater ease, and hopefully moving toward “finally being me.”