Refresh, Renew, Re-Invent!

When you were growing up, did any of the adults in your extended family talk with you about the need to be mindful of taking time in your life to “refresh, renew, and re-invent” yourself?  If they did, then consider yourself lucky.  I didn’t encounter these terms and what they meant for me personally in my life until I reached mid-life.  Even then, I only came across these terms on rare occasions, and generally through reading materials that were not part of the mainstream newsprint.

I’m not sure that any of these terms aptly captures the intent of my thoughts today, but if I had to pick one of the three terms, I’d stick with “refresh.”  I checked the meaning of each word in multiple dictionaries and in my thesaurus (Roget’s), and I think “refresh” comes closest to what I’m after. Here’s a sample of the meanings or synonyms listed in reference materials:  re-invigorate, stimulate, cheer, inspirit, re-animate, breathe new life, revitalize, to fill up again.  If you’re really feeling spent, there’s hope as the term “refresh” also included the synonym “resuscitate.”

If you feel like elevating the concept of “refreshing,” think about substituting the French word, “rafraichir.”  (Just throwing in a little humor!)

Actually, the concept of taking time to refresh ourselves makes good sense, if for no other reason than it helps us guard against finding ourselves in ruts where there is little stimulation of our choice as we get consumed by completing long lists of daily tasks.  How many times have you heard someone say in the midst of a busy cycle that he/she doesn’t even know what day it is!  As we become more mindful and are able to access the present moment more easily, we are by the nature of that practice allowing ourselves to take in new information.

I recently came across a quote by Rachel Carson:

“If I had influence with the good fairy who is supposed to preside over the christening of all children I should ask that her gift to each child in the world be a sense of wonder so indestructible that it would last throughout life, as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantments of later years, the sterile preoccupation with things artificial, the alienation from the sources of our strength.”  Rachel Carson

I have great respect for Ms. Carson’s work and the contribution she made in raising our awareness of the need to protect our environment as well as the harm that we were already doing to it, but I found that I struggled with one line in her quote:

“…as an unfailing antidote against the boredom and disenchantments of later years.”

My issue with this part of the quote is that it seems to assume that it is inevitable that one will be bored and disenchanted in one’s later years.  I’ve had colleagues try to talk me out of this interpretation, but I haven’t been able to let go of my gut reaction when I first read it.  But I do see a way that this particularly troubling line is helpful in today’s posting.

I remember the first time I went to Paris in my early 40s; I was totally captivated by the marvelous beauty and history of the City.  I was there between Christmas and New Year’s, and the magic of the lights, particularly the Champs-Elysees and the Eiffel Tower, infused me with levels of enchantment that I can still recall today.  Having since returned to Paris several times, I was initially worried that I would be disappointed if my level of awe was less than what I experienced on my first visit.

My experiences in return visits to Paris didn’t bring about that same level of wonder as my initial trip, but what I’ve learned is that new experiences that are different from the initial one can bring their own level of awe and wonder.  By checking our expectations in advance, we can experience “repeats” in new ways that DO NOT have to lead to boredom and disenchantment.

I have learned that if I just relax and take in each experience in the moment, some part of the experience rises to the level of noteworthiness, touching me in some deeper way.  It may be that I notice something that I hadn’t noticed before, or maybe my own evolution has made me more sensitized to what I’m seeing this go round.

If we want to continue to evolve as a means for living our lives fully and enjoying the gift of life throughout our lives, then we need to acquire an understanding the value of hitting the “refresh” button frequently.  In computer-lingo, refreshing your browser is defined as “updating the image by renewing the flow of electrons from the cathode.”   I understand the gist of this message without fully comprehending the technical aspects of it.  My translation reads like this:  “Update the image or experience by letting new information flow in.”

Remember that one meaning of “refresh” is “stimulate.”  I also like the word “inspirit” which is defined as instilling courage or life into.  Because many of us have not experienced modeling in our lives for how to “refresh,” we’re having to learn it on our own.  As children, the world is new to us, and we’re constantly discovering new things, and as a result, we don’t have to work at it.  If we’re not paying attention to  changes that occur with aging and how to develop helpful strategies to keep up with the developmental aspects of aging, then it easy to fall into the trap that “staying engaged should just happen.”  In this state of mind, it’s easy to see life without color and joy, and it’s often tempting to blame our partner, friends, and/or family for not giving us the level of happiness that we are seeking. In short, in this state of unawareness, we expect to be happy without working at it.

But the buck stops with each of us on this one; we are responsible for taking the steps to experience awe and wonder in our lives.   So how does one do this?  An easy place to start is to simply notice if you are finding something you’ve done before and repeated many times as boring.  Or maybe your emotional reaction won’t be that strong,  You might tell yourself that a particular activity just isn’t interesting to you anymore….that’s a signal that something needs refreshing.

Here’s an example from my life.  I have mentioned before that I enjoy walking, and over time I’ve discovered some “favorite” walks that I enjoy doing.  But recently I’ve noticed that I only have a few “favorite” walks, so I decided I needed to enlarge my list.  As I engage other people I know who are walkers, I ask them to share the locations of some of their favorite walks.   I share my desire to be somewhere where there are other people around as I don’t like walking in very isolated locations.  I also like to avoid busy streets that are noisy and require paying closer attention to traffic.  Within a couple of conversations, I now have 4-5 new walks to explore in the next couple of weeks.

Some research on the internet also provided me with new paths to explore for walking options.  If you have access to Audubon or nature conservatories where you live, these organizations typically have trails or recommendations for walks.

So notice when you’re beginning to lose some interest in something you like to do.  Explore whether a change of scenery or adding some variety to your existing choices would add the freshness you’re seeking.  Bottom line, once again, we come back to the importance of “self-awareness,” paying attention to how one is feeling.  As we get more comfortable with self-awareness, and we learn to quiet what I call the “crippling internal voices,” we can let our feelings surface without being afraid of what we might learn from simply listening and hearing.