T-Day: Time for Reflections of Gratitude
November 19, 2018
T-DAY: TIME FOR REFLECTIONS OF GRATITUDE
My usual practice of pausing to think about what I’m grateful for as Thanksgiving approaches was enriched this year by a recent topic for discussion that was the focus of the Small Group Ministry that I facilitate at my local Unitarian Parish. The topic was “Legacy,” and our initial discussion focused on naming and claiming legacies that have been gifted forward to us by prior generations.
Usually when thinking about gratitude, I am more focused on my present circumstances, so it was somewhat of a new experience to focus on gifts and privileges that I inherited at the time of my birth. When we are born into the world that has become accustomed to prevailing practices, these practices and privileges become “givens” to one and it is easy to just assume that many of these “givens” have been in place for past generations as well.
There are often very few prompts to remind us about what life was like in times that preceded our journeys on earth. Most of us have probably gotten a taste of what life was like in earlier times when we lose electricity in our homes or places of work when we temporarily lose power during a storm.
As an avid reader, I’ve also gained some insights about the various components or conditions that have added to the quality of my life. Reading historical fiction is a very accessible way of learning about the absence of amenities in the lives of those who lived in earlier times. If I ponder what life would look like before there was electricity in our homes, it’s easy to realize that doing a whole host of household chores would take a lot more time and effort. Doing laundry would require much more physical work and take longer; sweeping the house instead of vacuuming would probably create more dirt and be less effective; cooking would also require a lot more time and planning, not to mention the challenge of storing perishable food products. As an aside, I don’t recall ever seeing the word “multi-tasking” in historical fiction as most of one’s focus, energy, and time were required on the task at hand based on its cumbersomeness.
I find it easier to contemplate how the absence of modern-day conveniences would have on my life than to think about and make note of the non-material gifts that have been passed on to me. So I found it a helpful activity to stop and think of the “legacies” that I’ve inherited that make a significant contribution to the quality of my life. Thinking about these gifts as Thanksgiving approaches feels like a good time to contemplate and take the time to appreciate these legacies.
I enjoy reading historical fiction that sheds some light on women’s lives of the past. Edith Wharton is one of the authors, for example, whose novels help the reader experience what it was like as a women who was born into circumstances with limited financial means and whose primary access to money was through marrying someone of means. Women at the time Wharton wrote about were limited in the ways that they could achieve some level of financial security if they didn’t marry. Working as a governess or as a domestic staff in someone else’s home was one option. In some cases, women could work in some kind of limited teaching role, and as the country moved into the Industrial Age, women moved to urban areas there was the possibility of working long, long hours in factory settings.
I’ve read about the long journey that women travelled to win the right to vote. The path between the first women’s rights convention at Seneca Falls in 1948 to the 19th Amendment being ratified took over 70 years – That is a long pursuit! But because of all of the women and men who fought for women’s right to vote, it is a privilege that was gifted to me. Being able to express my values by voting – even when my choice isn’t the one that is victorious in the end – at least gives me the sense that I can be heard.
I don’t believe I would have fared well if I lived in a time where I was not allowed to express my opinion or to earn a living. Talk about feeling trapped and hopeless! I’ve read more current books about how the suppression of women’s rights in some countries places them in such vulnerable positions.
On a similar level, women’s pursuits to remain in control of their own bodies is another long journey of prior generations’ efforts to help women gain access to birth control and make decisions that made sense for them with respect to family planning. Economists have identified that women’s rights to retain control of their own bodies has significantly improved their opportunities to achieve a level of economic self-sufficiency. Again, the hard work of those involved in another life time have given me privileges that I have taken for granted. Gaining access to greater levels of education and to enter fields that were previously closed to women is another achievement that was mostly in place before my generation. While it has taken awhile for women to be viewed as competent in STEM fields as well as serving in leadership roles in financial roles, there is progress being made and entry-into these more highly compensated career fields has definitely improved women’s earning power and standard of living.
On a more ethereal level, the second wave of the Feminist Movement that was fueled by the works of women like Carol Gilligan, Jean Baker Miller, Alice Walker, Betty Friedan, Toni Morrison, Marilyn French, Maya Angelou and others helped women expand their own consciousness and to gain the clarity of the their own voices that gave them the courage to articulate their own value systems.
Finally, while it may or may not be considered a legacy, I am grateful for having been born in the United States. Acknowledging that there are too many benefits to list them all, let me at least acknowledge that access to the gift of education has been one of the greatest gifts I could have been given.
All of these named legacies are just a sample of what I have inherited, and I am in debt to those who came before me who worked so hard to put these benefits in place for future generations. As I explored and wrote about these gifts from others I don’t even know, the process has enlarged my understanding of the ways that I can bestow legacies on future generations. When I think of leaving a legacy, I often think of the concept of “legacy” as having to be something “Big” and that I would need to recognized as a major player in achieving the benefit or gift. But as I look back on what other women have done to create more opportunities in women’s lives, I realize it takes many hands in addition to the leaders in those movements in order to achieve change.
Appreciating the gifts that I have been given as this Thanksgiving approaches also makes me more mindful of wanting to use my efforts to improve the lives of those who will inherit this earth in the future. My small contributions along with the contributions of many others can coalesce to form very substantial legacies like the ones I am experiencing in my own life.
