07_28_2019

The Art of Re-Ordering Your Daily “To Do” List

               It took me awhile to gain some hindsight to realize that seldom do I actually follow and/or accomplish all of the items on what is my daily “To Do” List.  The rear view mirror perspective shed a number of interesting insights that I hadn’t actually realized until my patterns became clearer.

                First, my “To Do” list- which I typically sketch out ahead of time – is a complex composite of thoughts.  These thoughts can be divided into four categories:  Must Do; Would Like To Do; Do If Time, and what I call Dream On.  But here’s the funny thing…even if I associate items on my lists with these categories, in general, these designations are fluid.  For example, I may think that getting to the Library to return overdue books is a priority, but if it is pouring rain or snowing, I’ll decide that another day of a ten-cent fine is not a big deal.

                Then there’s always the new inspirations of things to do that occur to me early morning and during the day.  These items by necessity mean that other things have to come off that day’s list.  I don’t really remember when I first started making a daily list of tasks, but I have been doing it for years.  I do like checking things off once they are completed.  Every now and then I’ll wake up feeling low on energy, and to motivate myself, I’ll add in simple items like: Make the bed, check e-mail, etc.  These items allow me to immediately see a few check marks indicating things I’ve accomplished during the day.

                It has been a long time since I felt badly or disappointed in myself if I didn’t make it through my list of tasks.  First, in making my lists, I almost never factor in how much time it will take to accomplish an item.  We all know that a simple errand can take twice as long if traffic is heavy, if lines are long in the grocery store, etc.  Second, often a task leads you to a related unplanned task that requires attention or you simply notice something you hadn’t realized needed attention.  If I’m checking my refrigerator to make sure I know what I need from the grocery store and I discover a bottle of milk that has a slow leak, I’ll end up cleaning up that spillage which takes more time.

                Or if I suddenly receive an email from one of my clients who has some unplanned need, I usually make time to address the request if at all possible.  As a consultant, my value to my clients lies in my ability to help address the issues that they are encountering.  Granted I keep my eye on healthy boundaries in these situations, and I work prudently with clients to help them understand that planning in advance for what is needed makes it much more likely that I will be able to deliver what they need.

                And then there are just times when the spontaneous spirits are guiding me throughout the day.  I may just abandon the list and listen to the music that is calling me that day.  Good weather days after long hot or raining spells serve as good examples of reliable disruptive forces.

                Today I listened to a meditation that gave me a sharper lens on how to think about my energy and how I use it.   It was a Chopra on-line meditation from the 21-day series on “Miraculous Relationships.”  (https://chopracentermeditation.com/store.)  (Put simply, today’s focus was on Miraculous Dynamism.  This session is about how our energy can impact our relationships. Chopra explains the difference between an active life and a dynamic life.  Many of us have active lives even if we don’t exercise regularly.  We’re a society that is frequently on the move, both externally and internally.  But a dynamic life appears to be one that is guided by more intention.  It includes two main components: the quality of our energy, and the purpose and meaning that our energy serves. 

                Within this framework of dynamism, I now have another way of thinking about my lists.  First,  have I done my own work and put efforts into taking care of myself so that I can bring good energy to the tasks I am pursuing?  I’ll most likely be interacting with many people throughout the day, and will my energy in some way uplift them as well?  If I am tired, cranky or preoccupied with my own thoughts, I know I will be less able to connect with people in my interactions.  I will instead be on some form of automatic pilot.

                I like thinking about what purpose and meaning I want to bring to expending my energy.  I like being fully present in my interactions.  I like to listen deeply and attentively to people that I spend time with on a regular basis.  I enjoy bringing joy to people, letting them know that “I’ve seen and heard them.”

                So now when I re-evaluate my lists each morning and throughout the day, I will be asking myself about how my approach to accomplishing my tasks will likely impact the quality of my energy.  Secondly, I’ll think about each item on my list in terms of where it fits in with the goals of how I want to use my energy.  Here’s an example.  Recently I’ve witnessed a very dear friend’s life turned completely upside down by the sudden death of an older brother and the need to relocate her 90-plus year old mother from her family home of 50 years into a retirement community.  She’s been on the go attending to all of the needs and demands of these situations, and she has had little time to care for herself over the last year.

                It became clear to me when she told me recently that “she had hit the wall” that she could use some help.  So I’ve taken on some tasks that will make her life a little lighter.  Nothing big, small everyday things like filling her fridge with some groceries – including some prepared meals, tending to some of her gardening needs, etc.  In other words, I want to use my energy to say “I care about you,” “I am witnessing what you are going through and I want to lighten your load.”

                We can also use our own lives to model for others on how to free ourselves from being slaves to all of the chores and details that need attention.    While I have quieted this pesky voice in my head somewhat over the years that loves to broadcast a mantra that says, “If you slow down and lose your discipline you will automatically become a sloth.” 

                Well, guess what, I proved that pesky voice wrong.  On those days when I feel I am climbing uphill from the moment I get up, and my morning coffee and gradual wake up don’t shake that feeling, I may try to push forward for a while.  But after an hour or so if I feel the same way, I just bag it and realize that my being is telling me it needs a day off.  So typically, I grab a book, curl up on the couch, and at some point in the early afternoon, I am pretty sure that a nap will be on the agenda.

And guess what happens next.  The next day I wake up and I’m raring to go.  My guess is that as we age and our bodies may be slowing down a bit, we may need to be more attentive to what our bodies are asking for.  In my case, I really struggle being outside in the very hot weather, so if I have yard work that is essential which is mostly watering the flowers, I need to plan to do it early morning or late evening and then select activities that put me within an air-controlled environment.

                In summary, I think about my daily list as a guide not as a Must Do. I’m very fluid about re-arranging the list, including adding in new items as ideas come to me.  I use a monthly planner that I update on my computer each week, and then I print the daily schedule for each day of the week beginning on Sunday.   I put my list for each day directly on the daily calendar.   If things don’t get done on the day they are listed, I just move them ahead.  Sometimes I decide that items fall into the “Dream On” category – nice thought but not going to happen – and I just take them off the list.

                Let’s make ourselves Master of our lists instead of Slaves to them!  Peace.