03_30_2022

The Challenges Behind Cleaning Out Our Closets

I find one of the most challenging seasonal cleaning projects I undertake consists of going through my closets and deciding what to keep and what I can give away. Since I live in the Northeast, I definitely have the pleasure of experiencing four distinct seasons a year.

Today as I was reading Sarah Ban Breathnach’s words from Simple Abundance, I realized that her daily topics for this week all have to do with our relationship with our clothes. While her focus is on the challenges we encounter in trying to organize our closets, she touches on the underlying issues that make it difficult for us to let go of things we no longer wear. Her words prompted me to explore the reasons why I find it difficult to let go of things I’ve previously purchased.

She spends time explaining the difference between “fashion” and “style.”  Borrowing from her words, “Fashion is a show-off, concerned with the cutting edge. Style has seen it all before and knows that the classic tenets of simplicity, beauty, and elegance have staying power…Fashion is a cult; style is a philosophy…While fashion mocks individuality; style celebrates it.”

I found her distinctions on these two concepts interesting, but they don’t help me in terms of clearing things out as I shop more by style than by fashion. But to give her credit where it’s due, her words made me question how I would describe my style.

I go back to words I read in Margaret Mead’s autobiography, Blackberry Winter: My Earlier Years. Mead discusses in passing that once her daughter was born, she made a conscious decision to make sure that she always dressed nicely, including wearing something she thought of as pretty, when she was nursing her daughter. Her rationale informing this choice was simple: she wanted her child to always be focusing on something of beauty.

Mead’s words had an impact on me that she might not have imagined. I took from her words that how we dress and choose to present ourselves has the potential to have an impact on others. For me this has translated to an outlook or attitude of “dressing in a way that is aesthetically pleasing..” How we present ourselves communicates something about our outlook on life.

How we choose to present ourselves can be fun and playful. When I’m going out to be with others or to run errands, I always take care to dress in a way that says I am hopeful and that I wish you well. I love wearing colors that bring out the vibrancy of my skin tone, and I never buy matching tops and bottoms as I love doing that pairing myself. I usually wear earrings and a necklace, and I always wear a collection of bracelets. I have a collection of feathery brooches which can easily add flair to whatever I’m wearing.

Think about it. How we present ourselves definitely sends a message to those we meet on our journeys. Our presentation makes statements about our outlooks and our state of mind and heart. Do we project messages that say we enjoy and celebrate life? Do we realize that how we present ourselves might be a gift of encouragement to others?

This attitude has informed how I choose clothes for years. That said, it makes it harder for me to give something away when piece of clothing meets my criteria for how I want to present myself.

Giving away clothes that I have enjoyed wearing in previous years is more difficult than giving away other less personal items that I no longer need or use. As I think about it, giving away clothes reminds me of times gone by, so there is a greater sense of loss involved than giving away a waffle iron I no longer use.

Clothes that I felt were perfect – good fit, flattering, comfortable, and stylish – are particularly hard to part with, especially when they still fit. I’ve been able to let most of these go, but do still hang onto a few items, just in case.

I have reconciled myself to not worrying about the money I may have spent on something – although I don’t spend excessively on clothing. As someone who grew up wearing hand-me downs, I am happy to think that someone else will experience pleasure in wearing my favorite  things.

These next concerns may simply be my creative rationalizing. First, living in New England with four weather seasons necessitates a range of clothing to address extreme cold, milder weather, and potentially quite hot weather. There are coats and boots needed for shoveling snow, walking in the rain, as well as raincoats more appropriate for spring and summer rainstorms.

I’ve also adopted a strategy that seems to work well for me. I gather shopping bags and large plastic bags which I have on hand to enable me to pack things that I intend to donate. If I do this as I go along reviewing each item, it keeps me from feeling overwhelmed from all of the clutter.

I also create a “maybe” stack of things that I think I’m ready to let go but I’m not one hundred percent sure about my decision. Once I have gone through a closet, I stack my “to-go” bags by the front door. My “maybe” bags I put in a storage closet with a date (usually six months in advance) attached to them. If I haven’t longed for or worn anything in those bags by the time six months has passed, I am confident that I’m ready to let go.

Here’s a piece of good news; I can’t remember ever wishing that I had kept something that I gave away.

As I start to do a better job of simplifying my closets and clothing, I am more mindful of any new clothing I purchase. And I am resigned that the clothing challenge for me is unique, and I just have to do the best I can to manage my closets.

I enjoy clothes and having fun with them, so I’ll live with the challenging aspects of that attitude.