The Gift of Accepting That You Don’t Have to Do It All!

One of my goals in creating the Still Evolving Blog is to share with others what I am learning as I strive to live as fully as possible as I graduate to holding “senior” status.  If it is any comfort to you the reader, I offer you what I am learning on this journey.

First, having more control over how I spend my time has allowed me to pursue opportunities that I couldn’t take advantage of when I was locked into a more constricted and regimented work schedule.  I suspect that each person’s journey to discovering how to take advantage of more unstructured time may be unique, shaped in part by one’s current vision and goals for this part of life as well as by prior interests, energy levels, and on-going connections or responsibilities.

Think of the journey this way – instead of packing a bag lunch to bring with you to work each day, you can now have both the luxury and the freedom to choose from a vast buffet that offers both comfort and exotic or interesting food choices.  Initially one may feel somewhat timid in sampling foods that one doesn’t usually eat, but as you try different foods, you may find that your appetite for new experiences increases.

Speaking for myself, I have been gradually adding more to my plate.  I’ve begun committing more time to exploring art, expanding my book club readings, trying on new physical fitness and exercise routines, adding in more travel – both business and personal, and increasing my volunteer activities. And there are still the regular chores and home maintenance activities to fit in:  cleaning, laundry, meal planning, grocery shopping, cooking, and currently facing a serious Fall clean-up that involves raking and bagging more than ninety 33-gallon bags that also have to be hauled to the local recycling center.

It’s easy to miscalculate how adding in one or more activities can quickly push the limit of one what one can accomplish in one’s schedule.  I am finding that I have loaded a bit too much on my plate currently. One way I know that is that I don’t have a lot of wiggle room on time when something unexpected pops up in my schedule.

I realized this last point as I experienced a very challenging day last week, helping me realize that my “eyes are bigger than my stomach.”  Recently I organized an Action-Oriented Book Group in my local Parish.  The participants gather about once a month to discuss a book that was selected to read.  Our goal is to select readings that enhance our understanding of the current political issues facing our country, as well as how the decisions accompanying these issues will potentially impact our country’s resources and future.  Once our discussion concludes, we then share what action steps we each think we can take to further ensure that our country continues to honor the principles on which the country was founded.

On the day that we were supposed to be meeting, two separate incidents consumed my entire day – and I lost the opportunity to spend the time I had planned to review my notes from reading the book that was to be discussed that evening.  The first incident involved taking my car to the dealership from which I bought it eleven years ago for its 100,000 mile check-up.  The long and short of it is that once I arrived at the dealership and heard the costs associated with the repairs that were in order, I revisited my thoughts that had been surfacing about when it might be time to invest in a new car as opposed to putting more money into an older car.  I ended up taking advantage of a special offer on a 2018 car that the dealership was interested in moving off the lot in order to make more room for the incoming 2019 models.  That experience took about 3 hours longer than planned as I didn’t have a prior appointment with a salesperson to look at and test drive a new car.  I didn’t actually take the car that day, but I did have to fill out the necessary paperwork and submit a down payment.

All was still good at that point, but I also knew that I had to drive to an Apple Store as my cellphone as of that morning was refusing to charge.  Like most people, I have come to rely on my cellphone as a way of keeping me connected.  So I drove to the nearest Apple Store only to find that it was at least a three hour wait to see a repair technician.  My cellphone was four plus years old, so I decided it was better to just invest in a new one.  I didn’t choose the latest version but definitely did purchase a more recent model.  The snag on time resulted on the sales staff running into difficulties in trying to transfer the data from old phone to the new phone.

I had arrived at the Apple Store somewhere around 1:30 pm and was still there at 6:00 pm, working with a senior technician who was showing me how to transfer the data by hand or piece-by-piece.  What a frustrating day!  I explained that I had to leave by 6:30 in order to honor a prior commitment – facilitating the book group discussion referenced earlier.

As I was driving home to change clothes and then head to the Parish I was starting to angst over the fact that I didn’t get to review my notes from reading the book, and I was worried that the discussion wouldn’t be worthwhile for everyone.  Somehow in taking a deep breath and focusing on not panicking, relief occurred when I realized that I could most likely count on input from other members of the group to remind me of my own thoughts and takeaways from reading the book.

Sure enough that worked.  Once each person began sharing what sections of the book that he or she found most insightful, it triggered my own reactions to the book.  By the end of our meeting, I felt like it had been a very productive gathering and discussion.

My bonus takeaway was the realization that I don’t always have to assume that I have full responsibility for making sure that everything that I am involved with performs at the highest level.   There are other ways of describing this cloak that I voluntarily assume.  On some days I might describe it as striving to complete “all of the different aspects that go along with any task or that I usually associate with doing that task.”

Finally, I think that it is a natural consequence that when one is striving to evolve there will be occasions when one has piled too much on one’s plate.  Personally, I’d rather err on this side versus sitting at home being bored or feeling disengaged.  When circumstances remind us that perhaps we are too overscheduled, I find it wise to step back and try to pare down a bit.  Adding to this insight, I am also working on reminding myself that “I” don’t have to do it all.