The Gift of “Do-Overs”
One of my yoga instructors recently introduced me to the term, “Do-Overs.” Basically “Do-Overs” are opportunities that one can take to address something in a different way than one did when the issue was initially presented. If you were playing golf and decided to take a second shot because you weren’t happy with your first, it would be called a Mulligan.
Mulligans are typically frowned upon, but “Do-Overs” in the context that I’m talking about are actually good things. So let me share some different kinds of examples. Recently a friend offered me a ticket to a play that she had already purchased but was no longer able to attend because of scheduling conflicts. I accepted and hoped that I would in fact be able to attend. When I checked, there was nothing in my schedule conflicting with the performance.
I had a week or so to figure out the logistics of the best way to get to the theater in terms of costs, aggravations like parking, as well as how to travel to and from the theater without interfering with my evening plans. Because I’m conscious that I want to continue to grow and experience new things as I age, I thought what great timing in receiving this ticket. I used to attend live theater for many years, and I can’t remember why I slowly stopped attending. It may have had something to do with the costs, the challenges associated with driving into and parking in the City, my work schedule, etc.

I enjoyed the experience, especially the staging. I always found the stage sets, the costumes, and the acting so interesting to take in. And often the Play stayed with me long after the performance. The Visual Arts – Paintings, Sculpture, Plays, etc. – can drive home a message or viewpoint effectively and in a short time frame. I’m very grateful for the artists in our lives.

So I was very excited during the week as I welcomed this opportunity to revisit the power and enjoyment of this art form.
But guess what? I didn’t end up going.

Ugh, I know. What a letdown! I’m not really sure what got in my way of following through on what I felt was a wonderful opportunity to renew an interest that had been part of my life years ago. If I were looking for a good reason for passing up this opportunity, I could use the fact that I was preparing for a major presentation later that week as part of my consulting practice. And there would be some reasonableness to that explanation. I hate waiting until the last minute, and I don’t like to be rushed before a travelling as I travel best when I feel like I’ve had time to attend to the home front and to my own balance.
But on some level, I think I gave into some not very well defined fears or negative voices that I let talk me out of going. As the following week unfolded, I kept thinking what a missed opportunity. But waiting in the airport for a delayed flight, it occurred to me that I might be able to pull off a “Do-Over.” So I went online and saw that the play was continuing for another week so I bought a ticket to the final performance. I was pumped, and planned a day in the City beginning with Sunday brunch at one of my favorite restaurants. The play was well worth the cost, and I felt very much at home being back in a live theater.
It’s funny how serendipity works or how one step on my part can open new doors. I was sharing my experience with someone who mentioned a local group that offers performances throughout the year at a nearby playhouse and at a very reasonable price.

My guess is that many of us have had a similar experience in which we passed up an opportunity to do something that offered promising results of one kind or another. I’m learning that my first response might not always be the one I truly want to choose, so I’m practicing on locating my PAUSE button so that I can take some time to be in touch with the response that is most in-line with my true wishes. Rather than beat ourselves up for “making the wrong choice,” I think it’s much healthier and more productive to look for a possible “Do-Over” and see what options arise. In this case, I look at the ticket a friend offered me as the first step in getting me back to the theater; in this case I needed a second step, so all in all, the sequence worked.
Here’s another example of a “Do-Over.” I’ve talked about the importance of exercise in my life as a way of keeping me as fit and healthy as I can be so that I have the energy and outlook to continue to grow and evolve. Every now and then I get the inkling to try some new form of exercise. I’ve been intrigued by fitness classes that use the barre for stretching, toning and balance. So when my most recent community adult education program catalog arrived, I saw that the program was partnering with a nearby fitness studio that offers barre classes. I signed up for an eight-week, one night a week series.

I’m learning that I should read the course descriptions a little more carefully, but in my defense, I actually drove to the studio before signing up to learn more about what the class was really about. What I’m learning is it might be better to actually speak with someone who has attended one of the classes as those who work for the studio are prone to tell you what you want to hear in order to get you to sign up. My questions in this exploration stage typically have to do with how steep is the learning curve for someone who has never done this particular exercise before. The usual answer is something along the lines of “the instructor offers modifications for newcomers” or “just do what you’re comfortable doing.”
So I signed up for the class…OMG! First of all, the notion of the “barre” barely played a role in the 75-minute class even though the facility bills itself as a barre studio. It was more of a Pilates class, with very loud music blasting throughout the ordeal. Most of the participants were in their early 20s and 30s. I’m happy to say that for the most part, I was able to keep up with the class if I understood the directions which were hard to discern given the loud music. But I was exhausted after the class….in fairness, I had already walked five miles that day.
But I decided it was time for another “Do-Over.” I will try to pay more attention to something I’ve learned along the way….I am more likely to find what I’m looking for in a yoga studio setting than I am in a commercially run exercise facility. I once tried taking a yoga class in the gym I belong to but I ended up walking out of the class as I couldn’t stomach the attitude of the instructor who totally lacked any of the “yoga” outlook I experience with instructors based in yoga studios.
So I found this “Classic Barre” class in a nearby yoga studio. Here was my “Do-Over” so I thought. Not to be! My first clue should have been the message I received from the owner of the studio as I was signing in for the class. She said something along the lines of, “You know this is a really hard class.” Thanks for the encouragement. I surmised after the first 30 minutes in the class that it was really intended for folks who had taken ballet classes in their younger lives. Once again, even though I had called and spoken with someone from the studio before taking the class to explore how receptive the instructor was to novices, I found a different experience than what I had been told to anticipate.
So “Do-Overs” may not always be found in one-click solutions. I’m still intrigued by the barre, but I have decided I need to do more work to better define what I’m looking for. I’m not giving up on finding the right fit for my interests.

“Do-Overs” offer us pathways to retrieve and follow through on our truest intentions…I’m grateful for the opportunity to pursue them when my PAUSE button isn’t working.