01_09_2022

The Importance of Rest               

We have all heard messages about the importance of getting enough sleep. But we seldom receive helpful messages about the importance of “rest.” I share the American Heritage Dictionary’s (AHD) definition of these two terms as a way of pointing out their difference in meeting:

• Rest: 
• A period of inactivity, relaxation, or sleep
• Sleep or the refreshment resulting from inactivity
• Mental or emotional calm
• The state of being motionless
• The condition of being settled or resolved
• To cease motion, work, or activity, especially in order to become refreshed
• Sleep:
•  A natural periodic state in which the eyes usually close and consciousness is completely or partially lost, so that there is a decrease in bodily movement and responsiveness to external stimuli

The definitions are similar, but there is enough difference in the two concepts that they are not interchangeable. We are familiar with the concept of a restless night or waking up in the morning and claiming not to feel rested. By contrast, we can assume poses of rest that don’t require that we close our eyes and fall asleep.

I find the poet David Whyte’s description of the concept of “rest” in his book , Consolations: The Solace, Nourishment and Underlying Meaning of Everyday Words offers richer insights into the concept of “rest.”

“To rest is to give up on worrying and fretting, and the sense that there is something wrong with the world unless we are there to put it right…to rest is to fall back into an inner state of natural exchange…We are rested when we let things alone and let ourselves alone, to do what we do best, breathe as the body intended us to breathe, to walk as we’re meant to walk, to live with the rhythm of a house and a home, giving and taking through cleaning and cooking.

When we give and take in an easy, foundational way, we are closest to the authentic self, and closest to the authentic self when we are most rested. To rest is not self-indulgent. To rest is to prepare to give the best of ourselves…Rested we are ready for the world but not held hostage by it; rested we care for the right things and the right people in the right way. In rest we re-establish the goals that make us more generous, more courageous, more of an invitation, someone we want to remember, and someone others would want to remember as well.”

Here are the aspects of Whyte’s description of “rest” that speak to me. I am drawn to his use of the word “rhythm.”  Rhythm has a soothing quality to it. His elaboration on the “giving and taking” that occurs in our daily lives as we respond to caring for ourselves and others raises the ordinary tasks of living to a higher level of priority and significance. I enjoy giving myself over to cooking, cleaning, and attending to parts of my home that bring me deep joy.

I used to list these activities on my “to-do” list, which makes them seem like chores. Now, and perhaps because I am more able to control how I spend my time, I engage in them at a more relaxed pace. I see undertaking cooking dinner as something I want to do. While I’m not an enthusiastic fan of dusting, I do enjoy having a chance to handle and connect with the mementos that remind me of enjoyable and meaningful moments in my life.

There’s a harmonious quality to Whyte’s use of the word rhythm, an acknowledgement that part of life includes give and take. I have learned over time that when I invite friends for dinner, I need to pay attention to the resulting rhythm of how my choice of a menu and the resulting next steps of shopping and cooking will impact my energy. I’m learning to scale back my choices before I commit to a menu if I believe that I will no longer be rested enough to enjoy being present for conversation and connection with my invited guests.

I am making progress in not concluding that I have a character flaw when my being is calling for rest, and I pick up an enjoyable book choosing to read for an afternoon. I’m not sure quite how I acquired this notion that I need to be “accomplishing” something worthwhile every minute that I am awake. I know that I am not alone in challenging this deeply embedded expectation of oneself.

One secret I am learning is to rewire my brain’s assessment to designate resting as a productive use of my time. I can attest based on my own experience that I am more alive and engaged with what I consider the right things and the right people when I am rested.

So how do we practice resting. Whyte and others use the rhythm of the breath to help slow down and quiet our minds. These are key practices that enable me to slow down. To rest requires a mind that isn’t functioning like a hamster wheel. Sources on the Internet define a hamster wheel as “A monotonous, repetitive, unfulfilling activity, especially one in which no progress is achieved. 

To rest in today’s world is a skill set; with all of the stimuli that bombard us each day, we need to develop the discipline to limit how much we take in. That is a big first step. This includes limiting how much news we take in and making wise choices about the choices we make regarding the sources of our news. I find it helpful to limit my email and texting exchanges.

I also find it helpful to pay attention to my need for rest as the day unfolds. My frame of mind prioritizes flexibility in rearranging what merits my attention each day. With this as my boundary, I automatically begin each day by reviewing the list of what’s calling for attention, prioritizing the list by what feels like a natural response. I have a growing awareness I’m just responding to an internal metronome that has a better read than my mind on my body’s most comfortable rhythm.

Our culture needs reminding of the importance of slowing down. If we put our hearts and minds to the finding more time to be in a restful state, I have no doubt we’ll succeed.