The Power of Compassion
04_18_2021
The Power of Compassion
One of the lessons that I feel I am constantly learning on this journey of life is constantly being reminded of the power of compassion. I know I have a healthy dose of empathy within my being, but those feelings for others’ journeys don’t always lead to compassion. I realize that my ability to empathize can be blocked by my judgments.
Observing how and when this experience occurs helps me identify where I have opportunities to do more work. Last weekend I participated in a 3-day retreat sponsored by the Center for Courage and Renewal. The activities were organized under the umbrella title of, Soul of Aging.
Our Souls serve as membranes that connect us to deeper levels of awareness that go beyond our physical experiences. Likewise, they offer us opportunities to widen our understanding of others’ journeys. There were about 25 of us participating via Zoom, so the Gallery View was manageable, allowing me to see everyone within the group.
As soon as the facilitators sorted us into smaller groups, usually triads consisting of just three of us, I found my that my ever-alert judge began making quick assessments about the people I was grouped with. The tendency to judge others seems to happen almost instantaneously, and I am not certain where that tendency comes from.
In part, such judgments may be connected to a voice – perhaps the ego speaking – that wants to make sure it has the best seats in the house. I’m learning, although the process of discernment can be painfully slow, that those instant assessments that lack any foundation can be totally wrong. As the retreat progressed, we were frequently sorted into smaller “rooms” of 3 or 4 people.
Whether the sorting was intentional or random, I frequently found myself within the same rooms with people who I had been with before. As our stories were shared with more detail, I easily found my heart opening to those I was paired with. Not only could I identify with how their earlier lives played a role in some of the struggles they encountered as adults, but I also had the remarkable opportunity to see how those experiences left them feeling as unworthy and to blame.
I could hardly contain my compassion as I found myself finding ways within the guidelines of our encounters to offer them support and sharing my observations of the inner strengths I witnessed in each of them. I found the above picture of heartfelt expression online and forwarded it to those I had spent the most time getting to know.
And once again I was reminded of the importance of withholding judgment about others and allowing room for me to develop a more in-depth understanding of their life’s journey. Witnessing how those of us participating in the retreat were uplifted by the embracing support of others reminded me how much we all benefit from this power of understanding and support.
Other opportunities present themselves in my life to practice putting aside what my scouting ego reports back to home base about the validity of another’s experience. In one instance, I find myself struggling with an individual’s sharing of her emotional struggles. I find that as I listen to her I am torn between the urge to offer advice or to point out that there other more positive ways of framing the issues.
Instead, a wiser voice that had a chance to learn from the recent retreat is reminded that sometimes patient listening is in order to allow myself the possibility that I might reach a deeper understanding of another’s life journey.
I have lived times when I didn’t think I would make it through an experience unscarred, but I have come to appreciate that our experience on the other side of challenges may well be different. Going through my divorce was a time of rock bottom despair for me, but as I made my way through to the other side of that life passage, I began to appreciate the opportunities that opened up to me.
Looking back at that time of my life many years later, I can now see that it freed me from a controlling relationship that was attempting to stifle my growth and claiming of my own life and voice. I know that it took me time to find a more positive way of looking at those challenging times in my life.
Moving that insight forward is a reminder for me to tap into my compassion reservoir to allow others the time that they might need to come to a different, perhaps more positive way, of viewing their life experiences. Ever since I first encountered Emily Dickinson’s words about gaining insight, I have benefited from the wisdom of her words: “The truth must dazzle gradually, or every man be blind.”
Practicing compassion not only offers support and a safe place to evolve to others, but it also most definitely shows me how to live a more embracing and loving life. And I can’t help but remind myself and share with others the message, “Take time to look back and see how far you have come!”
Namaste.
