05_02_2022

                It has been a couple of weeks since I lasted posted a Blog; but I’m back. Springtime is always a welcoming time in a gardener’s life, but it represents a time in which I can totally lose myself in projects related to preparing for the planning season.

                In my last posting I shared that I had discovered a wonderful book written by Angeles Arrien, titled, The Second Half of Life: OPENING THE EIGHT GATES OF WISDOM. The first gate, and it isn’t clear to me how Arrien chose the order of the Gates, but I may gain a clearer understanding of her choices as I do a deeper dive into the work of each Gate.

                The Silver Gate is intended to represent the mystery and enticing pull of any new beginning or adventure. The choice of the adjective, “Silver,” works for me as I think of silver as shiny and glitzy. Its shine draws our attention to it; it may be something that we’re attracted to.

                Another interpretation of the color, “silver,” is that it mirrors our reflections. This is an interesting choice as the work of this Gate is to reflect on the roles we have assumed in our lives. These roles constitute ways in which we as well as others view us; our roles play a part in defining who we are to ourselves as well as to others.

                One of the very energizing parts of our younger lives was that there were so many “new “ experiences available to us. Think of how you felt when you accepted your first full-time employment offer. Or when you rented your first apartment or living space away from home? I can remember being both excited at the chance to create my own living space as well as a bit overwhelmed. I remember buying my first car, and the freedom and independence that I felt at being able to go where I wanted on my own terms.

                These new experiences bring a level of energy and excitement with them. One of the things we want to avoid as we age is what the author describes as soul loss. By soul loss, I believe Arrien’s is warning us to avoid falling into states where we feel like there is nothing new for us to experience. Symptoms of soul loss include inertia, apathy, anxiety, depression, futility along with other similar symptoms.

                We’ve all heard that as we age we are likely to suffer from bone loss. To minimize or mitigate against bone loss, we’re encouraged to participate in strength  training, weight bearing exercise, and to use calcium supplements. But there are no over-the-counter solutions for avoiding soul loss.

                But there are lessons to be learned at this Gate to help us build our resistance to losing our enthusiasm for living. The biggest task as we work our way through this Gate to a new threshold is to “begin the process of accepting  the aging of the body and the mind.  As we choose acceptance, this Gate reveals that the once hidden gifts are now available to us.”

                “We are asked “to move beyond the familiar and strengthen our capacity to develop curiosity, trust, and flexibility…Our willingness to see ourselves anew demonstrates our desire to leave our fixed view of reality behind.”

                Finally, this Gate “represents all that we have not yet discovered in our lives and in our characters, whether it is a new belief, interest, relationship, creative project, or source of inspiration.”

                Arrien’s words make sense to me as I can see how the teachings of this Gate translate into my life. I’ve shared a bit about my recent experience of joining a new gym. I’ve held a gym membership for many years, acknowledging that in some periods of time my intention to participate in exercise was greater than my actual follow through. My mantra during these periods was something like, “I just want to keep coming back.”  In other words, I knew that exercise and conditioning were great goals and important to my health. When I faltered in my resolve, I worked at not beating myself up and focused instead on just returning to a routine that I could manage.

                During the last two years of Covid conditions, participating in a gym was considered a substantial risk. And while I was grateful on some level for a circumstance out of my control was preventing me from  going to the gym, I could tell that I was losing some of the body strength that I had gained over the years.

                When I found a gym to join six months ago, I was surprised to discover how much work lay ahead of me to “build back better.”  Here was a place for me to apply the work of this Gate. If I was going to continue doing the work I needed to do, I had to let go of the image I had carried in recent years about my physical strength.

But letting go of comparing myself with earlier versions of myself made it easier for me to just keep plugging along. And here is where  it comes in handy to think about other hurdles you’ve tackled in your life and how you overcame them. What I recalled were the multiple examples of when I started from “a place lower than I wanted to be” and how I made progress. I’ve done it with increasing the amount of money I saved each month. I’ve done it with approaches to losing weight, focusing on the long haul and being patient that if I just kept following the recommended guidelines, I would eventually reach my goals.

                I had a choice to make. I could become discouraged if I hung onto “what I used to be able to do,” or I could let go of those milestones and pat myself on the back for tackling this work anew. When I completed my first strength training assessment, I learned I was slightly below average for my age group. WHAT? I’m used to being “above average” or “within the average range” in most things that I do, so I had work to do to get through this new space.

I’ve done it when I started new jobs and felt like what there was to learn was overwhelming. Through repeated lessons of just showing up and tackling each day with my best efforts, I eventually experienced success.  In short, we have to be willing to see ourselves anew in order to stay engaged in new learning and in new experiences. I’m happy to report that as of my most recent strength assessment, I’m slightly above average. I keep showing up at the gym, but I’ve surprised myself about how relaxed I am about making progress. I’m not comparing myself with others or with my former self.

I am trying to take notice of my efforts and spare a word or two of encouragement to myself. I can tell I am making progress, but I’m also making sure that I find healthy ways to reward myself for my efforts. There is a locally owned Taqueria that I pass on my way home from the gym around lunch time. They offer a healthy salad at a very reasonable price. I treat myself to a picking up a salad most days after working out.  It is all about accepting that we are at a new stage of life, and that we can find ways to thrive.