03_18_2020

Thoughts on Adapting to Living with the Coronavirus

Having not been alive during the World Wars of the last century, this is probably the biggest challenge I’ve lived with in my lifetime.  This viral threat came upon us without a lot of warning, and since most of us have never lived through anything like it, we don’t have a backpack of skills handy to help us through it.

But we do have some elements within our experience and reach that can help us build the necessary tools to help us stay safe and whole.  Let’s begin with checking what we’re using as our sources of information and how often we’re tuning into them.  To be clear, the situation we are in is very serious, and the most important resources to listen to are the ones stemming from the doctors and scientists and other professionals who have worked with controlling the spread of viruses in the past.

Dr. Anthony Fauci has become one of the most important public figures in Washington amid a coronavirus pandemic that is quickly changing American life. Fauci has been at the helm of the National Institute of Allergy and Infectious Diseases for nearly four decades. So far he has demonstrated his willingness to contradict our President who still seems to have difficulty grasping the seriousness of this pandemic.

What I appreciate about Dr. Fauci’s updates is that they appear to be based on a combination of past experiences with these types of infections and the facts that we are currently piecing together about this particular virus.  He is also willing to say, “We don’t know the answer to that at this point in time.”  And while I wish we did have additional answers, I appreciate not being told something that may not be true.

So, pick your information sources carefully, and check how often you are allowing yourself to check in on the news.  A friend of mine suggested that “we should all avoid the firehose approach,” meaning that we are not helping ourselves if we are constantly fixated on this one issue.  I check the news in the morning and in the evening online, and perhaps once during the day.

The best strategies that we can put in place to care for our own health and the health of others include strictly following the safety guidelines that have been put in place to avoid physical contact with others, with the exception of a small group of trusted folks in your life.

But we need to be thinking of how we care for our emotional, mental and spiritual health during these new challenges that have been thrust upon us. So where do we begin? I think it is important to acknowledge that it is going to take time to wrap our heads around what getting to the other side of this may involve.

After it started becoming clearer to me how fast this virus can spread, I realized at one point I was aware of experiencing an unusual type of unease for me.  With effort, I can usually put my finger on the source of my unease, but at first I couldn’t with this experience.  But then I realized that my unnamed unease was associated with my awareness that I was likely going to have to learn how to live with this threat without fully understanding presently the degree to which it could impact me, others, the country and the world.  Once I realized why I was feeling the unease, it lessened.  I find it helpful to accept some unease without pushing it away or judging ourselves harshly if it interrupts what we had hoped to accomplish during a period of time.

That said, we also want to guard against letting our fears run wild and parallelizing us into inaction.  I find it helpful when my fears begin to surface to remind myself of the more reassuring facts that we’ve been presented with.  First, the more we practice “social distancing,” the less chance we have of being infected.  The predictions currently are that 80% of folks who contract the disease will have mild symptoms.

The strategy of “flattening the curve” also seems hopeful in that if we can reach a point where we are able to control the rapidity at which the virus is spreading, we make it more feasible for our healthcare providers to care for those who need medical treatment.

As others have written, while practicing “social distancing” is a physically healthy strategy, it also takes us away from some of the activities that can keep us emotionally and psychologically happy.  We will all have to adjust our “normal” routines, and we will no doubt have to adjust to living without our usual array of go-to-comforts for an extended period of time.

We may have to resort to cooking our own meals instead of going out to eat.  Instead of resenting this change, we could use it as a time to explore new recipes and meals at home, which will likely save us some money.  We’ll have to find other practices to keep our bodies in shape absent our ability to go to the gym or take in a yoga practice.  Just think, when we are on the other side of this, we may actually experience moments of gratitude that we are able to get back to the gym. Human nature being what it is, we may be able to ride that wave for several weeks before we’re back to seeing getting to the gym as a chore.

I envision that one of the biggest challenges facing our country is that we will all have to get by spending more time alone with ourselves, and minus the many distractions we call upon to avoid time in solitude.  Personally, I think this could be a positive outcome from all of this.  This forced opportunity may lead to all of us recalibrating our lives in a way that we are more centered and anchored by what really matters, enabling us to let go of much of the noise and distractions in our daily lives.

We will each have to find our way with how to best use and manage our newly found open windows of time.  Key strategies that I’ve seen in print include sticking with a routine and making daily schedules.   I’m playing with making some notes in the evening of how I would like to spend my time the next day, including a short list of things I want to accomplish.  I tried putting time slots next to these listed items, but realized quickly that I do better by shifting my stated tasks around in the morning as I have better sense of where I am.  Also, since one of the things on my list is getting out to walk at least a couple of miles, I check the weather app in the morning to select the best time of the day to be outside.  So far that strategy is working, but you’ll find what works for you.  And don’t forget to put some leisure activities on your list; take time to do things that you really enjoy!

I’ve been noticing on my walks how much more willing people are to make eye contact during these challenging times.  I tend to smile and say “Hello” when this happens, and I’ve been struck by the wonderful smiles and good wishes I’m getting back.  These types of gestures are a wonderful and safe way to show that we care for one another and wish everyone well.

There’s more for all of us to share on how we’re making our way through this period of time.  I’ll continue to be alert to some helpful strategies to share with you in a couple of days.

In the meantime, let’s all remind ourselves of other periods in our lives when we’ve had to call upon our resiliency.  These memories will help remind us that we have this stock in our pantry shelves, and we have an unlimited supply to put in our carts as we need to.  We also have one another that we can be in touch with when we may need help “talking ourselves out of panic mode.”

Take good care; we’re made of stronger stuff than we may realize.  Just because we haven’t had to exercise character and stamina like generations before us doesn’t mean that we can’t find those virtues within ourselves.